in the name of LOVE

new blog site...

2010-04-20T22:09:00.000-07:00

The blog has moved. Please click here to visit the new site!

I'm MOVING...

2010-04-20T05:33:00.000-07:00

It's been ten months since I began blogging and it has been such an awesome experience. In the past couples months I've listened to your suggestions and tried creating a blog that was more user-friendly and aesthetically pleasing.

I'm so excited to announce that tomorrow I'll be moving to a new spot!

Here's a small snippet of the promo video that will be on the page as well:

In The Name of Love from Bianca Juarez on Vimeo.

The video was produced by the ever-amazing Drew and Chad from Shade Tree Films. They are totally amazing and if you need any video work, they are the best visual storytellers I know. Check them out! (Note: the video that made me fall in love with their work is actually a wedding video but they did such a good job at capturing the feel of the moment that I wanted to use them for my personal video. Check out this page on their blog and watch The Kidds wedding. Uh-maz-ing!)

Thanks for your continual support and love. I look forward to more conversations, debates, and comments to push us about thinking differently and living wisely.

Cheers,

guessing leads to caffine fix...

2010-04-19T07:31:00.000-07:00

I'll be posting about the awesome conference in San Jose later, but I have something to announce!

If you can guess what it is, you'll win a $25 giftcard to Starbucks and an eHug ;)

Happy guessing...

*Edit to post: AP from Los Angeles and Suzanne from England have tied :) Both answered the correct guess: a blog design! Email me your addresses and I will send the crack cards, er, I mean coffee cards your way ;)

post-it project...

2010-04-16T05:49:00.000-07:00

When we compare our lives to others, it may be disillusioning. But there is a healthy introspection that comes from acknowledging what you have in light of the blessings God has given. Therefore, give back.

In the midst of the craziness of life, I don't want to forget my commitments to serving a cause greater than myself. As I've mentioned in a previous post, I have been invited to go to Africa this summer to partner with Mavuno church in Kenya. This adventure is exciting and nerve-wrecking all at the same time. In order to be a participant on this trip each member is required to fund raise 100% of their financial support.

There's a nasty little monster that hangs on my shoulders and his name is Pride. I hate asking for help--especially financial help. But the premise and core ideology of Outreach is to invite others to join in on our journey. With your financial help you're able to participate in this adventure with me. The Post-It Project will give you a small way to be where I am.

For ten days a group of youth from Orange County will join with a group of youth from Kenya for total world domination! Well--something like that. Here's some vision for the trip:

If you want to help and support the trip, here are some simple steps:

Go to http://www.marinersoutreach.org/giving

Click on the link that says "Give towards a Faith Adventure"
Step 1: Fill in your information.
Step 2: Designate Faith Adventure Donation
Team Member Name: [Bianca Juarez]
Trip Name: [Kenya, June 2010]
Step 3: Fill in your account information.

100 words on the granola syndrome...

2010-04-14T07:09:00.000-07:00

Beware of the Granola Syndrome in church. Yup, you heard me, thee Granola Syndrome. People walk into church as a fruit, a nut, or a flake.

A fruit: healthy, alive, bearing other fruit.

A nut: enough said. (We know those people so we'll just stay PC on this one.)

A flake: tried God, didn't work, gave up. Yes, a flake.

Here's hope for the nuts: nuts can bear fruit! But they need to be rooted, grounded, and watered with Living Water.

Our responsibility is to spread health within the walls of our church. For the building is not the church; we are the church.

So--what are you? A fruit, a nut, or a flake? Keep it real.

rituals, check lists, and burnout...

2010-04-13T06:26:00.000-07:00

May you experience the love of Christ, through it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God. --Ephesians 3:19

There needs to be a followup; an explanation of sorts. After reading yesterday's comments (I read every single comment), I couldn't help but feel an addendum had to be added. Though no one said it, perhaps I was too harsh. My intention was not to add one more item to your checklist of holiness nor was it my aim to compare our "performances" against other Christians. My goal was to simply say, Life is hard. Hang in there and you'll see results.

Desirous of encouraging us complainers, I think I may have perpetuated the failure cycle we as Christians fall victim to:

Performance --> Rituals --> Checklists --> Failure --> Guilt --> Withdraw --> Emptiness*

We don't need to do more "God-stuff," as Doug Fields would say, we need connect with God.

When we connect with God (John 15:15), we can admit that we are jacked-up sinners who will fail and complain (Romans 3:23), and come boldly before Him to ask for mercy and grace (Hebrews 4:15-16a). Doug also put a list together about connecting with God that I would feel selfish for not sharing it with you.

Connecting with God...

It's not about ritual... it's about a relationship

It's not about performance... it's about presence

It's not about a "show"... it's about showing up

It's not about "have to"... it's about "want to"

It's not about guilt... it's about grace

It's not about form... it's about friendship

Love you. Pray for you. Grateful for you.

*Cycle produced by Doug Fields

life change hurts...

2010-04-12T07:27:00.000-07:00

Life change hurts. But if you want change, deal with the pain. Period, the end.

It's no secret that I love to workout and strive for the great new exercises to try. I've found an awesome gym near my house that offers amazing cross training by a fitness coach who not only loves what he does, but loves his clients. He not only cares about changing what you look like, but he cares about how you feel.

At 5:30am a small group of women arrive at NextLevelFitness before the sun comes up because we want to change. We are committed to change. We are paying for a change. But there's a woman who habitually complains about every circuit we do.

Push ups? Come on! Run around the building? It's cold. Lunges? My ankle hurts.

A few weeks ago the workout was particularly challenging. As we switched from one station to the next, we were all tired. Kathie was so tired she crawled to the next station, I leaned over the ab bench trying to catch my breath, and the other women adjusted to their new station. The Complainer? Well, she refused to do the next station: push ups.

What I said: [inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale]

What I said in my head: Look honey, we all are hurting. We have a choice as to whether or not we want to change. If you don't like it, don't come. So just shut up and get do the push ups!

(Not only am I unsympathetic at 5:30am, I'm have a low tolerance for complainers.)

Hebrews 12:11 says, "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." I couldn't help but parallel her complaints with our own complaints in spiritual living. We ask God to change us, mold us, break us so we can be used, but when he does, we complain and fight back.

If we simply trust him and do what is needed to change our lives, Hebrews tells us it will produce a harvest of righteousness.

Today I saw the fruit. At the end of our arduous workout, Joe decides to kill us (aka give us one more circuit). Oh yeah, it had push ups. I was waiting for a comment from The Complainer, but she got on her hands and began doing push ups. Like REAL push ups. I watched her out of the corner of my eye and was so proud of her! All the workouts had paid off and she realized the instruction for our trainer was right and beneficial.

How can you daily submit to change? Are you The Complianer or are you a trainer? Whatever station you are at, keep at it! Whether your instruction comes from life coach, pastor, mentor, or daily biblical instruction, listen. I promise you--the results are worth it!

friday video blog: imparting vision...

2010-04-08T17:50:00.000-07:00

Imparting Vision to Gen Y from Bianca Juarez on Vimeo.

J. Vernon McGee says, You should never stand behind the pulpit without being able to say, "Thus sayeth the Lord." I wish I would have heard this quote before I responded capriciously during a recent interview.

Reason #829,827,410 why you should pray before you sit down and open your mouth.

If I am going to say anything, if I'm going to impart knowledge to anyone, if I am going to steal someones time, it should be under the auspice of giving away God's goodness. In an era of entertainment and diversion, how do we impart a vision and hope to our next generation that they are not forgotten.

We need to take ordinary and mobilize them to do extraordinary things because of an extraordinary God.

My words to the next generation are not to read a book or follow 10-steps, but rather look at my generation and the generations before and do what we COULD NOT DO. For the mistakes we've made or the foundation we laid, do your part.

For those in my generation or the generation before, what are we doing to live our and create a legacy? We only have on life to live and soon it will be passed. Only what we do for Christ Jesus will last.

What can we do? What are you doing? Do not fret. We are ordinary people serving an extraordinary God.

not sure i said yes...

2010-04-08T05:37:00.000-07:00

Atop the veranda at the J. Paul Getty Museum in Los Angeles, Matthew Olthoff asked me to marry him. And I'm not sure I said yes.

Rewind.

Three weeks ago I started snooping around and asking subtle questions about my birthday. As coyly and coquettishly as possible, I tried discovering the master plan for my birthday experience. After a few days of failed discoveries, I flat out asked what we were doing for my birthday in an exasperated tone. Oh, that's right, he dryly stated without lifting his eyes from his computer screen. Your birthday is coming up.

Without getting into reasons as to why I ignored him for the full hour of Project Runway, I will say I was internally cooling off and trying to love him in spite of his lack of care, waning love, and overwhelming apathy. But I was so angry.

It felt as if he didn't care. He didn't love me. He had taken for granted who I was in his life and I was now officially part of his office furniture. And, if I'm being totally honest with you, this made me question staying in our relationship. If he can't love me the way I need to be loved or the way I love him, I confessed to my mother, I'm not sure he is the one for me.

Fast forward.

Tuesday, April 6th

Arriving to the Getty was like arriving to the Disneyland of nerds. And I felt at home. Matt and I sat on a bench with a pastry and hot beverage and talked about life, the blessings God has given me, and how special he made me feel. I still had no clue he was proposing.

After a few art collections had been viewed, he pulled out another present for me while we sat on the lawn of the Getty garden. It was a book I've wanted but couldn't find. Score! Under the golden California sun we read and laughed and chatted about things we loved. I still had no clue he was proposing.

He packed an amazing lunch with various cheeses, salads, drinks, and love. He insisted we move to a new location for lunch. Begrudgingly I complied, but did so while complaining about leaving the perfectly great spot by the tree.

Atop the veranda with the Hollywood hills, downtown LA, and the Pacific ocean as our backdrop, we ate lunch and spoke about what life in the future would entail while the wind blew lightly across our faces. As dishes were wiped off and food put away, Matt asked me what I wanted to do next. I said, Today has been perfect. But I would really love to go read some more!

In true movie script form he pulls out a book wrapped in clear cellophane and says, Well... I think you should read this. He created a book complied with old emails, pictures from the last year, prayers he wrote for me, personality traits we each possess, and through it all, I had no clue he was proposing.

As I turned each page of the book I realized how much he loved me, how well he knew me, and how much he cared. The entire month he belabored over insuring I would be surprised. The lack of care was a front. The apathy was a lie. The waning love was sheer acting talent. The last page had a trifold adhered to it, sealed with a sticker. Inside was the most beautiful letter he's ever written ending with the words, Bianca Juarez, will you marry me?

I'm not sure I even said yes. I think it was more along the sobbing lines of, I'mSoSorryIDoubtedYouILoveYouSoMuchAndI'mSorry. He kissed my forehead and slipped the ring on my finger as I cried like baby. I'm not even sure I said yes.

Matt, my answer is yes. A resounding yes! If I could marry you tomorrow and wake up next to you for the rest of my life, either in a hut or a mansion, I would. My life is better because of you and you constantly push me to discover who I am, who God is, and how I can change the world for better. I promise I will never leave you or abandon our new family and my commitment is for life... even when I want to give up and quit. Thank you for taking me back--twice. I love you more today than yesterday... but not as much as tomorrow.

news, hints, and incourage...

2010-04-07T00:38:00.000-07:00

There's some big news I want to share with you all, but it'll have to wait until tomorrow. There's so many details I need to sort through and right now, I can't even think straight. Here's a hint: it starts with en- and ends with -gaged. Oh yeah, baby, you heard right!

In the mean time, it's my monthly post on (in)courage, a website of collected writings from different women from around the country. If you've never checked it out, take some time to check it out! The bloggers are amazing and I'm honored to write alongside of them.

To read the post in it's entirety or post a comment, click here:

The room filled will chattering girls, laughing boys, and shushing teachers. It was chapel time. The mandatory, one-hour service where all good Christian kids go and eagerly await a required bible study.

Tough crowd.

They were the Christian picture of scholastic perfection. Pressed uniforms, light makeup for girls, neatly combed hair for boys. I began to share on the given topic for chapel that particular day, but something was amiss. There was an air of hypocrisy creeping into the room and choking hold of the dark truth in hearts and minds.

I've turned off comments here so you can join the conversation at (in)courage!

things i've learned in 29 years of life...

2010-04-06T06:07:00.000-07:00

Today marks the day I'm officially... [cough, cough, swallow]... mature. Maybe this means I have to stop singing and dancing wildly in my car. Or stifling my raucous laugh with a dainty hand covered in a Victorian glove. Or wearing walking shoes. Or maybe this means I'm full of sage wisdom.

What God? What are you telling me? Oh, it means I'm full of sage wisdom? Greaaaaat! I'll impart my knowledge of the last couple years...

*When you learn an American idiom, don't try it out. When someone says, It's like spitting in the wind, what they mean is, don't be stupid and try it.

*Don't steal gum--or anything--in front of my mother. Piety overwhelms her and she'll march you right on over to the manager and make you tell him you stole a package of watermelon flavored Bubblicious gum. Hypothetically, of course!

*Make friends who are better than you or possess strength in your areas of weakness. You'll be like the Greek phalanx; better together than separate.

*If at all possible, get a twin. You can blame them if you're wrong, play with them when you're bored, and steal clothes when necessary.

*Don't EVER date a lead singer in a band. They'll be more in love with themselves than you'll ever be. You're welcome.

*Date someone who is super clean so they'll take care of the household chores, while you watch trashy reality television. [Just kidding, Matt! Well, half kidding.]

*Do what you're inspired to do. Even if you think you're not good at it. It may not be a lucrative profession, but in the end, it's better to fail at something you love than succeed at something you hate. Truth.

*Never wash your white clothes with a red sock.

*Read your bible daily!

If you have any advice to add, feel free to! For those older than I, pour out your wisdom :) I need it.

life is beautiful...

2010-04-05T06:35:00.000-07:00

La vita e bella! Italian director Roberto Begnini directed one of the most amazing films where a family faced with horrific situations was able to find moments of beauty in the mundane and even painful. When all hope was lost and death triumphed, the characters whispered, Life is beautiful!

This week is a new week, I'm excited to be alive, and I didn't workout. Intentionally. I woke up eager to make moments beautiful. Instead of focusing on trying to save the world while balancing a 9-5 job, I want to chronicle what is beautiful.

Because really, if Clark Kent could save the world and manage a desk job, so can I!

Mom is cancer-free, Dad is sleeping, family is healthy. Life is beautiful.

Turning 30 and I have my health, wealth, and slept in until 5:40am. Life is beautiful!

Lost the Biggest Loser competition at my gym, but I lost seven pounds. Life is beautiful!

Jasmine's closet better than ANY store because she let me borrow anything I wanted for Easter. Life is beautiful!

Impromptu birthday dinners with amazing friends. Life is beautiful!

Food in the fridge, a roof overhead, water to drink, and a bed to sleep in. Life is beautiful!

King David and I have a lot in common. Okay, okay, so he was a king, had tons of money, and ruled people. I get that. But when I read his songs of praise in Psalms, I feel like he is writing from my mind and heart.

Psalms 16:11 You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

When we feel lost in life, lack joy, or desire pleasures, they can be found in the mundane and sometimes painful moments of life. But like David emphasized, it is through God that we can whisper out, Life is beautiful!

What is God doing in YOUR life that is beautiful?

because it's my blog...

2010-04-01T07:10:00.000-07:00

I need to write this out. I need to remember these feelings. I need to wrestle through the little and big things in my life. I need to chronicle this journey because if I don't know where I've come from, I will not know where I'm going.

Last week I had a breakdown in my office. No one knew, no one saw, no one needed to find out. It was just me. In my office. Alone. In a moment of pounding stress, I lost it. I literally spoke out loud to God [like a crazy lady from Venice beach with her 85 cats] and asked the questions every 20-something asks:

What am I doing? Where am I going? What do you want from me?

You would think I have this whole thing figured out. But I don't. As a ControlFreak who loves having my Garmin spurt out turn-by-turn directions, I want God to do the same. Because honestly, I'm going full steam ahead into pitch black darkness.

My life is unglamorous. I wake up at 4:45am to workout, blog, and spend time with God. Then I shower, put on heels, pack a lunch, sit in traffic, send 1,395,982,507 emails from my small office covered with post-it notes, sit in traffic again, lather, rinse, repeat. I'm exhausted. I'm tired. I'm wondering if what I'm doing is what God wants me to do.

Then I remembered the words I shared with Maxine over bread at dinner: So what? Just do it! Sometimes I give really good advice. It would be nice if I listened to myself. In those moments I know it's not ME, but the spirit of the Lord who is within me to share Truths.

As Public Relations & Media coordinator, I'm in the midst of launching our new church website, copy writing, planning Passion Week, facilitating our guest speakers and guest bands, oh yeah, annnnnd trying to study for Saturday's speaking event [which is bubbling over with whispers of people who are bothered that I'm speaking... so hurtful]. In addition to this I still don't have a dress to wear for Easter!

So this is me--broken and wounded. But I'm still the girl ambitious enough to think the world can change through the love and leading of Jesus Christ. My greatest desire is to round up ordinary people and have God transform us into fearless, EXTRAordinary leaders who want to save the world.

Yes, I will provide the capes.

Thank you for listening and loving me through this journey,

100 words on bad theology...

2010-03-31T07:03:00.000-07:00

There's sucky theology out there. Beware. You probably won't amass great wealth, drive a Ferrari, or own a plane, but some preachers will tell you that. It's a lie. You can't name and claim anything if it's not part of God's sovereign will. You can't preach health and wealth in a world broken to sin.

Furthermore, in a world teaching the prosperity gospel and Jabez-like prayers, it elevates us above a Savior who suffered. Jesus was poor. Jesus was homeless. Jesus was hungry. Jesus felt isolation. Pain. Despair. Rejection. Betrayal.

An empathetic Savior knows what we feel. Why should we be exempt from suffering if our Savior wasn't? Am I wrong?

do your thang'...

2010-03-30T06:35:00.000-07:00

She looked across the table as if she was going to admit she was preggo, selling illegal substances, or pilfering from her governmental job. She inhaled, swallowed, and braced herself for my reaction. I sat across from her and munched on the mound of warm deliciousness some people call bread. Seriously, I said, you're starting to worry me. [Note: I eat when I'm nervous.]

She pushed her bread plate away from her [Note: she doesn't eat when she's nervous] and blurted out her aspirations of becoming a ________.* With a quizzical look and arched eyebrow I replied, So what? Just do it.

For the next two hours we sat around discussing the importance of passion and guilt. Passion in doing what we want to do; guilt in what it is we want to do. She confessed her guilt was because her desire wasn't "spiritual" and it's not like teaching the bible or working for a church [Note: she was probably talking about me].

She wasn't comparing like I-want-to-be-like-you, but more of a It's-not-a-holy-job. Naturally we are inclined to compare ourselves in the discovery of God's will for our lives. It's part and parcel of our brokenness and humanity.

But what is defined as a holy job? Working for a church? OH PLEASE! A holy job is a person who desires to be holy and HAS a job. There's a lot of people who are guilt trippin' over what they're inspired to do. Why? God has created us to do great things... impossible things!

If you want to be a rapper, be a rapper who gives glory to God. You want to be a photographer, be the most amazing photographer who captures God's beauty. You want to be an deejay, actress, playwright, brain surgeon, lawyer--do it. And do it well. We are his masterpiece created for good works Ephesians 2:10 tell us.

So why struggle? If you are able to praise God with your talents, give the glory He is due, and make a living out of it, DO YOUR THANG'!

*You fill in the blank. It could possibly be what you've been praying about doing.

proclaiming freedom to captives...

2010-03-29T07:45:00.000-07:00

Syncopated voices vibrated in the sterile room of the third level of the Los Angeles Women's Jail. It was one of those feelings we all have felt: What did I get myself into?! Shaved heads, tattoos climbing up necks and onto soft feminine faces displaying 'hoods they were from. Loud voices taunting and jesting with each other confused me in the way you would feel on foreign soil; you know what their saying but you can't understand the words.

I clutched my bible and inmates yelled through walls or shouted through windows, Pray for me! My name is Channel and I'm up for parole soon! And, Hey you! My baby's daddy is in court tomorrow. Would you remember to say a prayer for him? I had no clue what I'd gotten myself into.

In my naivete I assumed this would be another speaking event with willing women's heart open to hear the gospel. I didn't expect to be fearful. I didn't expect to be afraid. I didn't expect to pray in the solitude of my mind feverishly for the right words to say. But the fears washed away as a simple guitar lead us into a time of worship.

Brown, black, white. Straight, lesbian, confused. Searchers, seekers, finders.

In one room we sang off beat and out of key to songs I will never forget. The words sung out by the lips of the women gathered in ward 304 dripped with sincerity. Lyrics, sung out with every fiber of their being, meant something more than mere words. It was one of the most moving times of worship I've ever experienced.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I walked towards the microphone. After getting comfortable with each other, we laughed together, learned together, and felt like a rowdy, motley crew of girls who needed some Jesus up in our lives.

Before leaving I had the privilege of praying with a dear sister who was sentenced to death row that very day. It was in that moment I realized she represented so many women who, though have freedom in the outside world, are prisoners to themselves.

As we go about our day, remember those who are living in an emotional, psychological, or physical prison and give them the One who proclaimed, The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of our Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God to comfort all who mourn... (Isaiah 61:1-2)

InTheNameOfLove summer series...

2010-03-27T13:46:00.000-07:00

As a certified nerd, I'm so excited to pass along to YOU [the weekend blog reader] the dates for the In The Name Of Love summer series!

I'm sooooo excited about this years theme, but I'm keeping it a secret until I have all my ducks in a row. [*Side note: American idioms always confuse me. Who has ducks and how do they stay in rows?]

Without further adieu [yes, I try to speak French], I give you the dates:

Tuesdays at 7PM, July 6th-August 10th

Join over 500 women for six weeks of fantasticness and worshipful artistry with guest bands and time in God's word. Holla'! Hope to see you there. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

vlog: women as teachers, preachers, and leaders...

2010-03-26T05:21:00.000-07:00

At the core of who we are, we must admit that we don't have all the answers. The truth is, I could feel dogmatic about a certain topic then read a commentary or listen to a theologian and completely change my mind.

I've been asked several times via Twitter, formspring, and facebook what are my views of women teachers. I found it interesting how some the questions were phrased because it felt like entrapment, more than a inquiry of my personal thoughts. I also found it difficult to respond to because not only is it part of my profession, but it's part of who I am.

Given my gender I tread cautiously and respectfully in certain church realms. Some churches allow women to serve as leaders, lay-pastors, or even senior pastors. Other churches won't allow women to teach, lead, or wear makeup (obviously I'm not invited to the non-makeup churches!). Both groups have scriptures, convictions, historical cultural contexts to support their beliefs.

All I know is one day I will stand before God Almightly and be asked, What did you do with my Son? The only thing I want to hear after is, Well done good and faithful servant!

This post comes with much fear and hesistation because my church has graciously invited me to share during Passion Week. My church celebrates the equality of women, yet understands Divine Hierarchy and the need for theological order within church walls. But for the first time in our church history, a woman will be sharing about Jesus, Easter, and us. That woman is me.

I had reservations knowing there may be some who want to bring out the theological whip. But, as my pastor/daddy reminded me, I'm simply doing what the first evangelists did: proclaiming Jesus rose from the dead, He is who He said He is, and our lives will never be the same because of His demonstration of love displayed on the cross. Furthermore, my father wisely concluded, the first evangelists were women. Touche Daddy, touche!

If you're in the SoCal area like to join Shachah and me for a night of worship and teaching, come down April 3rd at 6pm.

Eugene Cho stands on egalitarian view of women serving in Church and it's an interesting read with a hilarious link on a satiric post on why men shouldn't be ordained. *Note: Satire is tongue-in-cheek humor.

Pricilla Shirer gave a great answer to the Should Women Teach/Serve question on her website.

Tyler Braun wrote three posts about this exact topic. As a seminary student, I valued what he had to say greatly and appreciated the links he provided for further discussion. Read all three posts!

spotlight: renee johnson...

2010-03-25T21:41:00.000-07:00

Renee Johnson is one of those girls who once you meet, you won't forget! Upon meeting her we spoke about all things important: boys, writing, quality television, and well, God. See, she has a big heart and believes passionate about getting into God's Word daily.

She asked me to be part of her blog tour for her forthcoming book, Faithbook of Jesus, but instead, I'd want you to hear in her own words why she does what she does. Enjoy!

How did you first get started writing?

I started journaling when I was a young girl. I took all my emotions to the feet of Jesus. At first I just thought my journals and devotional time was between me and Him, but eventually it bubbled over into a love to help spur other people forward in their daily time with Him!

What has your ministry journey looked like in the past couple years?

The past couple years have been both exciting and scary. I got my dream job over two years ago working for Outreach Events. I loved it. I got to work with some AMAZING speakers and comedians, pastor's and churches. It was truly a dream come true after watching my parents in ministry my whole life. Then when I got my book contract with NavPress to write my first book, a daily devotional for 20-somethings I couldn't handle the stress of both. It truly grieved my heart to give up something I loved, but once I obeyed God blessed me by calling me into full time ministry.

What do you plan on doing in the next couple years?

Speaking, writing more books, and gathering together as many 20's as I can and encourage them to get into the Word daily! I also am using my non-profit, Devotional Diva Ministries to help launch other individuals such as pastor's, speakers, and writers and ministries such as churches to help brand them so they can launch their ministry online! Using the skills I have with websites, marketing, branding, and social media it's been my pleasure to help launch 3-5 ministries in the past 7 months!

If you could give one message to blog readers, what would it be?

Spur others forward. Hebrews 10:24, says, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." It's amazing the people and connections in ministry I've been able to make because I'm truly invested in spurring others forward. Once you lose your life you realize how desperate humanity is and how we're all looking to be loved and found loved by Him. If you can grasp this, then serving other people isn't as hard as you thought it would be!

To find out more about Renee and her ministry, you can check out her blog!

blog mayday...

2010-03-25T00:02:00.000-07:00

Mayday! Mayday! I need your help.

I was going to keep this a secret, but I need some advice. I'm working on a new blog and need your expertise, insight, and previous experience.

Where do you host? Blogger? Wordpress? Typepad? Personal?

What are some things you like about this blog layout?

What are some things you don't like about this layout?

What have been your struggles with your own blog?

What would you change?

Why is Suri Cruise the most gorgeous little girl in the world?

Where would you go on your dream vacation?

Okay, okay, the last question is just because I want everyone to be able to participate in this conversation :) But please hook a sista' up and drop your pearls of wisdom on me!

lessons from an 11 year old...

2010-03-24T07:29:00.000-07:00

Jesus said, Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. --Matthew 19:14

The room was full and worship ended when the youth pastor came forward to announce there would be a impromptu prayer session. Now, I wasn't quite sure if he knew I had completed two sessions and worship had officially ended. Call me YeOfLittleFaith, but did he really expect Junior Highers to pray? Out loud? After being cooped up for nearly two hours?

Yes. He. Did.

Pastor Gil opened in prayer and silence ensued. But one by one, sweet voices began to speak out requests from around the room and I knew why Jesus desired we have faith as a child (Mark 10:15). One particular girl moved me by her simplicity and assurance. In two long breaths she spoke out statements of belief for petitions she requested. In other words, her requests were in complete faith they would be answered.

I grabbed the precious girl after our time of prayer ended and asked her to pray with me. She giggled as if I was joking, but I was serious. I grabbed her under my arm and told her she had the gift of prayer and I needed her faith. We prayed together and after we had ended, I asked her if I could blog about her faith. She said I could--as long as I posted a picture. (This girl was a riot!)

Kayla, thank you for teaching me to have faith as a child. Your belief in our God is humbling, your faith is inspiring, and your confidence is hilarious! Never lose your boldness or faith. Keep praying like a child.

Love,

stuff christians like...

2010-03-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

If you don't laugh at awkward Christian side hugs or t-shirts with popular brands reworked as witnessing tools, perhaps you shouldn't buy Stuff Christians Like. But as a pastor's kid who now works in ministry, I've come to learn that if we can't laugh at ourselves, we're taking ourselves too seriously.

Jon Acuff is a satiric hero who crafts epic story-telling, powerful life lessons, and hilarious Christian blunders in a language which is real and raw, yet comically palatable. How someone can be ridiculously hilarious and yet an authentic believer in Jesus Christ, makes me jealous. In fact, I am jealous. If I didn't like him so much, I'd rip off his material.

If you don't want another Christian dating book or devotional on joy-filled living, get this book and laugh about mission-trip romances, virgins and unicorns, and why Mormons are slightly nicer than Christians. The way I see it, the early Church had symbols of their fraternity by drawing the Christendom fish in the sand. I propose we drop phrases like Booty-God-Booty or buttons proclaiming we [heart] side hugs.

Why? Because if we can't laugh at ourselves, we are taking ourselves too seriously.

Jon Acuff can be found blogging daily and highly recommend you check out some of his favorite posts! Better yet, order his book here.

asking for wudder ice...

2010-03-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

Whatt'da ya mean, you've nevah had wudder ice, they asked in disbelief? Wide-eyed and curious, they looked at this California girl as if I was from Mars. Surrounded by roughly 20 pre-teen girls, they laughed and told me I had to go to Rita's for water ice (or, as they say, wudder ice).

The next day on my way to the airport, my gracious hosts learned about my apparent Philadelphia sin--You've never been to Rita's?! At this point I think Rita must be everyone's grandmother because everyone knows her and is offended I haven't visited her.

We pulled into obscure an Philly lot and saw the Rita's banner hanging from the brown, weathered roof. I'm expecting an old woman with a sweet voice who calls me Sugar to come out and hug me. But no, Rita is no where to be found. In fact, I don't think Rita lives there. The windows aren't open and the shades are drawn closed.

With sad, disappointed voices my hosts, Gabrielle and Angelica, inform me Rita's was closed. So I did what any ambitious girl would do. I knocked on the window. Hard. They looked at me in one of the She's-not-from-Philly ways and waited for us to get rejected. A tall, thin but burly guy peeks out of the door with a brisk, We open at noon.

As he was shutting the door I yelled out, I'mFromCaliforniaAndI'veNeverHadRita'sBeforeAndICan'tGoHomeWithoutEverTryingIt! (exhale) There is a slight pause from my tall but burly friend. Hang on, he said.

He returns with not one but THREE Rita's ice waters! Gab and Annie look at me in complete shock. I turned it into a Come-To-Jesus moment and I pepper our experience with, You have not because you ask not! We laughed, but it resonated deep within. Like a pebble tossed into a lake, the words spoken by Jesus reverberated in my mind, You have not because you ask not.*

We sometimes look at 'CLOSED' signs and walk away. But what if we have to fight for it? What if we have to ask to get it? What if the miraculous is answered simply when we ask? So--what are you asking for? What's your small miracle? Maybe we just need to ask...

*James 4:2-3

never say never...

2010-03-19T03:19:00.000-07:00

I grew up a poor kid. Not like poor I-don't-have-a-home, but poor like I-wish-I-didn't-have-to-shop-at-thrift-stores. And I-wish-I-didn't-have-to-drink-the-donated-guava-juice-from-church. And I'm-never-going-to-wear-hand-me-downs-anymore. Yeah, that kind of poor.

As a child I vowed I would never be poor again. I would never wear donated clothes. I would never ask for a handout.

Never say never.

I have been invited to go into the slums of Kenya, meet the amazing people from Mavuno church, and physically be the hands and feet of Jesus to live out the commission to love my neighbor as myself. I believe in the organization I'll be traveling with whole-heartedly... but there's this one thing I just can't get over: their STRICT fundraising policy. [see below]

So--I'm starting the Post-it Project. Everywhere I go, people who I touch, you will be able to be part of this journey. I'll be blogging and Tweeting about our adventures and if you want to be part of this adventure, you can! Below are some instructions on how to help send me to Africa.

I appreciate your help, love, and support. If nothing else, I appreciate your prayers!

things we don't talk about...

2010-03-18T06:04:00.000-07:00

After teaching at an event a grown woman came up to me, jittery and embarrassed, and admitted she was addicted to porn. She knew she had a problem, but she didn't know what to do, where to go, or who to tell.

After teaching at an event a woman came up to me, jittery and embarrassed, and admitted she was addicted to porn. She knew she had a problem, but she didn't know what to do, where to go, or who to tell. Except this woman was 15 years old.

Two separate women, two separate days, two separate generations, both struggling with the same issue.

The young girl who approached me looked angrily at me as she admitted her addiction through sobs. It was as if she thought I was going to yell at her or condemn her. I grabbed her hand and told her it was okay. No it's not, she shot back. It's not okay! It's a sin! In a moment of clarity I realized she had bought into the lie claiming her sin as the chief of all sin. The apple had been bit and the lie continues to spread.

Research from Evangelical Christian women reveal 40% of women have participated in sexual sin in the past year and 20% of are addicted to porn (46% of men). Personally, I think the percentages are higher. Instead of keeping our sins as dirty little secrets, we need to talk about them. We need to admit to them. We need to confess our weaknesses and seek intervention.

Let's stand on what we know:

We are all jacked up and need help (Romans 3:23)
God's love in inalienable (Romans 8:38-39)
When we can't handle it, God can (Matthew 19:26)
You're not alone in this battle (awesome video from Anne Jackson and Mike Foster)
You need to admit this is a problem (James 5:16) and dialogue with others struggling through this (Dirty Girls Ministry)

If you are struggling through this or would like further information, I really suggest you visit Anne Jackson's blog and Dirty Girls Ministries resource page. More importantly, you're not alone.

Questions? Comments? Stones to throw? Better yet, does anyone have the most current research about men and women in the church who are addicted to porn?

jealousy, envy, & me...

2010-03-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

She's jealous of his car. He's jealous of his wife. We're jealous of her hair. We are all jealous of someone, at sometime. Don't lie. Now it's simply a matter of how to deal with it so we don't end up like brood of haters.

Today's post is linked on (in)courage and can be read in it's entirety. As always, I've turned off the comments here so you can join the dialogue as we discuss fashion faux pas, gym workouts, and Grecian supermodels who workout at my gym.

The length of her legs reaches to my eyelids and her hair hangs at the side of her size 2 waist. She has to be a fitness coach, professional dancer, or super model because really, who looks like a Grecian goddess at 5:30AM?

Click here to continue:

friends not fans...

2010-03-16T06:14:00.000-07:00

If Jesus had a Twitter account, how would he run it? Seriously. Take a moment and think about social media--then decide if the early church would've used technology to connect with people across the globe.

I think so.

People feel differently about social media and it's uses. Some use it for marketing. Others use it for publicity. Many use it for socializing. Recently I started a Twitter account and a facebook page and I've had discussions with people I trust on how it should be run.

Like, should I be uber holy and only post scripture? What if people think I'm lame? Who should I follow and how do I interact?

The truth is I'm not uber holy, I am quite lame, and I still have awkward social moments (Yes, I was home-schooled). But since there are no strict rules on social media, I'm making them up as I go along.

For memories sake and posterity, I'm posting my rules here so I can remember them and share them with you:

I don't have followers, I have friends. I don't hate on people who choose not to follow me on Twitter. It's their choice and I still would like to see what they're up to. But I realized that I'm not trying to be a SuperStar in life and I shouldn't care the about the ratio of people I follow versus who is following me. If you have a shirt on and you're not trying to sell something, I'll follow you.
I don't have fans, I have friends. In The Name of Love has a facebook page and I love it! If I could get rid of my personal page and opt for that one, I would. People post prayer requests, funny stories, ask about future speaking events, or reply to a comment or link I post. But let's not get it twisted: I don't have fans.
If you ask a personal question on the blog or through formsping that is anonymous, I probably will not answer it. There is no power in anonymity.
Blogging is hard. Like really, really hard. I don't get paid a dime and I'm not trying to sell Amway or Pre-Paid Legal services. I blog because sometimes I feel as if it's my only voice to a world I cannot reach. Vienna, Austria--I blog for you. Queenstown, New Zealand--I blog for you. Santiago, Chile--I blog for you. Ozark, Arkansas--I blog for you. I pour out my heart with simple words... because words are all I have.

So, what are your rules? Am I missing any? How do you tweet and what do you say? Why is Jon Gosselin still in the limelight? Why is Suri Cruise the most gorgeous little girl in the whole world?

Power to the people,

keepin' it real... again...

2010-03-15T07:48:00.000-07:00

There is a danger in compartmentalizing life. But sometimes compartmentalizing life blocks out fears, questions, doubts, or confusion.

Last week I received beautiful prayer requests from people across the globe. Some were funny and others serious, but each one spoke honestly and from the heart.

In the midst of writing down post-it notes for people, I paused when I read the ending comment from Steph, How can I pray for you????

I couldn't respond at that moment because I'd probably have the longest comment. Ever. But after a few days of processing and opening up the public and private compartments of my heart,* I realized I need to keep it real.

So, this is me. My private world unveiled and raw through supplications for prayer. Please don't judge me--I don't have the luxury of anonymity.

We need a revolution for our generation. Hearts need to turn back, minds need to be cleansed, and lives need redemption. I want to be part and parcel of changing our world for the better. I just need to figure out how...
There's a strong possibility I'm going to be a step-mother. I don't want to be Cruella DeVil or Cinderella's step-mother, so pray for love, patience, and understanding of a child's mind.
I want to get off the weight roller coaster, but it's the never ending ride. I desire contentment above a certain illusive weight. Pray for acceptance of my body.
I don't know how I'm going to afford living and supporting a family doing ministry. I want to share and teach, wherever, whenever, but I know I have rent to pay and bills to manage. Pray for a simple lifestyle that lends itself to ministering the Gospel.
I want to be faithful like David, but I'm a sign-seeking Gideon. I want signs for signs. What I really need is faith. More faith.

So my dear blog friends, I shamelessly solicit prayer. I'm a coward in my private prayer life because I'm afraid to open myself and ask for prayer. But Lord knows I need it!

*This is also because a dear friend who anonymously reads my blog told me she was going to boycott my blog if I didn't start having more faith. She told me I needed to ignore my blog until I started believing what I was preaching. Ouch! But her prodding caused me to keep it real.

Friday Video Post: illegal immigration...

2010-03-12T05:28:00.000-08:00

Before I'm a daughter, a teacher, a writer, or an Latino-American, I'm a Christian and I'm committed to the call of the Church. In other words, I'm concerned about how the Bible can orient the way the broader Christian community, denomination, and individual Christians understand their identity and role in the world today.

When it comes to the issue of illegal immigration, the topic is huge and extraordinarily complicated. I do not pretend to offer solutions contested issues or to propose some sort of political cure-all for the many problems. I simply want to raise dialogue and discussion about a serious situation. Once we can develop an appreciation of how complicated the situation is, it can help us move us beyond emotional attachments or simplistic positions that often dominate the media and current politics.

Too often discussion defaults to the passionate ideological arguments (It's not their land, It's not fair, It's illegal), economic wrangling (Immigrants are taking jobs and money), or racial sentiment (I just don't like Chinese people, I don't like Mexicans, I hate when people can't speak English).

According to Dr. D. Carroll, the number of immigrants, documented and undocumented, who have entered the country during the past thirty years has made this phenomenon the focus of national debate at many levels and in all sorts of arenas. The debate is heated, and it has generated interesting alliances that cross ideological lines.

He also notes Christians in our society locate themselves at different points along this broad spectrum of opinion. Carroll discovered that the conversation about immigration has more to do with ideological commitments, personal background, and experience rather than Christian convictions.

So--what do we do? How can we gently (and in love) discuss fear, apprehension, justice, power, forgiveness, and LOVE? Let's start the dialogue in love...

Scriptures to support both sides of the arguments:

Abraham welcoming foreigner (Gen. 18), Elijah welcomed by the Shunammites ( 2 Kings 4), sojourners not following or integrating in Israelite life (Duet. 17:15) and rituals (Exod. 12:43, Ezek. 44:7, sojourners must do hard labor (2 Chron. 2:22), aliens could be day laborers (Duet. 24:14), commanded to love the alien/foreigner (Lev. 19:18, 34, Matt. 22:34-40), Jesus as refugee (Matt. 2:13-14), sumbit to authorities and laws of the land (Romans 13:1-7).

confessions...

2010-03-11T09:01:00.000-08:00

We've done it before and I think we should do it again.

It's time for confessions! Origen said, Confession is the vomit of the soul. So it's about time we purge.

I'll go first. Please don't leave me hanging, friends.

One time I hit a parked car and left the scene. [I was seventeen.]
I cheated in my French class sophomore year of high school during my midterm. [I still have trouble sleeping over that one.]
I ripped the pay phone off the wall of Stauffer Hall at Whitter College and never told anyone. [I'm telling you.]
I threatened my sister's life after she hacked a loogie and it landed on my forehead. [It was disgusting. You would've too.]
I tried being bulimic multiple times. [I just couldn't do it.]
I Googled my ex-boyfriend a year ago just to see what he was up to. [It was pathetic. I know.]
I stole Jasmine's Isabella Fiore purse over a month ago. [She doesn't even know it's gone.]

Now it's your turn. Keep it real...

Note: As always, you can comment in anonymity. But don't be chicken! I ain't gonna throw stones. I'll leave that to the Pharisees :)

post-it's and prayer...

2010-03-10T00:01:00.000-08:00

Small, colorful, adhesive pieces of sheer goodness scatter my office. Some are notes or to-do's, but lately, I have a ton of Post-It notes in my offices with names of people I care about. They serve as reminders.

See, I've never been the greatest prayer warrior. I try to set time aside, but inevitably I get distracted by a phone call to make, an email to return, or a meeting to attend. Hence, prayer is neglected.

But if I have small, colorful, adhesive pieces of sheer goodness to remind me, I will remember!

It started with Kyrene in Australia. Then Annie in Oregon. Then Melinda in Orange County. Then Markus in Germany. Then Dana in DC. I wrote down names of people who needed miracles in their lives onto Post-It notes on my office window. I told them I would pray for them. And now I am committed to it.

The names listed above (and the others decorating my wall) serve as reminders to pray. I believe prayer changes things. I've seen the miraculous. Just ask Kyrene. Just ask Melinda. Just as me.

So join the Post-It Revolution and let me know how I can pray for you. You don't have to spill the dirty-dirty, but keep it general and simple enough to fit on a 3x3 square :)

How can I pray for you?

If you have two minutes, check out my favorite short-film:

ordinary to extraordinary...

2010-03-09T07:43:00.000-08:00

David was a mere shepherd boy until the day he was anointed by Samuel. From the top of his head to the tip of his toes he was covered as a providential sign of his calling. From that pivotal point on, his life was rocked. An ordinary shepherd boy began to do extraordinary things. Oh, you know, like killing beast of the fields and slaying giants. Average stuff for a teenage boy called to greatness.

Deborah was part of the tribe of Israel until she was called to be a judge in the land. To painfully point out the obvious, she was a woman. But this ordinary wife was a leader, foreseer, and motivator to the masses. She lead Israel into a successful battle, when women of this time were non-entities of society. No matter the gender bifurcation or elevation, she did was God called her to do: Be extraordinary.

Peter was a fisherman. No, not like Long John Silver, but like one of the Jersey Shore kids. Leathered skin, horrible accents, unwarranted swagger. Fisherman were over-looked by society, but this ordinary fisherman was chosen to be a extraordinary fisher of man. He walked on water, participated in miracles, and gave one of the best apologetic defenses of the gospel even today.

How?

When God calls us, He equips us. Each of the people mentioned relied upon the work of the Holy Spirit to fill them... to do the extraordinary. And guess what? God is still calling people to do the impossible.

John 14:12, I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these...

The question is simply, are you willing to stop living an ordinary life?

So, what's your extraordinary life? How can we live spirit-lived lives?

life in full circle and the daughter i'll always be...

2010-03-08T09:05:00.001-08:00

Murals painted in vivid color depicting scenes from early life, decorated the warm restaurant of Bougainvilleas. Music wafted in the air and mingled with scents of homemade food coming from the kitchen. The waiter placed the cloth napkin on my lap, then my fathers. A soft cacophony of noises informed all visitors to the upscale restaurant they were in for a good time: dishes clinking, people laughing, and live music playing.

Life had come full circle for my father. The child who would stand outside the restaurant and watch wealthy Americans and European expatriates come and go, was now the man who walked brazenly into the restaurant to buy his child a sumptuous faire of food. We clinked our dishes, laughed together, and sang to the music playing.

Yes, Life had come full circle.

Returning to the land of the free and the home of the brave is met with new revelations of who I am as a daughter.

I'm the daughter who witnessed financial deprevation and broken dreams.

I'm the daughter who witnessed divine acts of God to provide for our family when my father could not.

I'm the daughter who hung on my father's back and passed out food to people in need when we had none for ourselves.

I'm the daughter who still believes her father can fix anything.

I'm the daughter who still crawls onto her father's lap to nap.

I'm the daughter who still whispers my dreams and hopes into the ear of her father.

I'm the daughter who wrote out the Joel 2:25 on a piece of line paper at the age of 7...

Now I'm the daughter who whispers into the ear of her dark-skinned, immigrant father, I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten, says the Lord.

I love you, Daddy. Thanks for teaching me about your past, so I can know my future.

Friday Video Post: a social gospel...

2010-03-05T05:15:00.000-08:00

What Is The Social Gospel from Bianca Juarez on Vimeo.

It was said with distain, Oh, they teach a social gospel. Confused on what he meant, I prodded for more information.

I could see his concern, but instead of rectifying the situation with peers or correcting certain definitions, he choose the let the chasm between the Church* grow. We verbally wrestled through this conversation and I walked away asking if we stop could splintering the church, bifurcating demoninations, and start operating as a cohesive unit.

Yes, there will be theological bents, liturgical preferences, and message methods, but can we at least agree on one thing: The Gospel.

The good news of the gospel is that we have salvation, redemption, and justification for our sins through a man named Jesus. Not through feeding the homeless, not through visiting orphans, not through partering with the city to make our community a better place. If you've followed the blog or know me personally, my heart bleeds for the poor, needy, hurting, and destitude... but in no way will that take place of the gospel.

We need to know the gospel in order to live out the gospel.

So what are your thoughts? What kind of church to you go to? Are you physically living out the gospel or are you going on Sunday and living your own agenda the rest of the week?

*Church is capitalized here because I'm referencing the entire body of Christ, not one specific church.

Cupidity...

2010-03-04T05:16:00.000-08:00

Books are like children to me. I hold them in my hand, keep a vigilant eye on them, and take them with me wherever I go. So when people tell me I have to read a book, it makes me feel like their thrusting their misbehaved, raggedy lookin' child on me and asking me to baby-sit. Eerrrrt! Stop, please.

But after Is Coffee A Date vlog, I began some fun banter via Twitter with Michael DiMarco and discovered a whole world of conflicting ideas. (Yes, my life feels like kittylitter in the dog bowl... completely out of place.)

Michael and Haley DiMarco are authors of several books, including their recent book on relationships, Cupidity: 50 stupid things people do for love. I have been swapped with work and speaking engagements so I haven't been reading like I usually like to, but as I packed for Mexico, I grabbed my thin, fair-skinned child and started reading immediately.

This relationship book is 245 pages, but it reads like a diary or a conversation with friends [if your friends are witty and slightly sarcastic]. It was such an easy read, I finished it in two days. What I love most about the book is that it's true. And if you know me, I read books to uncover their faults, so this was interesting.

For example, they spent some time on the different needs of a man and woman from pre-historic times [which included a sketch of a caveman named Grog]. Here's the breakdown in basic terms:

Women:

Protector: A man who gives me protection from nature and other cavemen. [Word!]
Provider: A man who provides cave, fur, food and base companionship. [Ummhmm!]
Enhancer: A man who offers me a chance to nest, hang furs and finger paint. [Amen!]
Romancer: A man who listens to me and dances with me under the moonlight. [Preach it!]

Men:

Bedmate: A woman who gives me warmth and continues my bloodline.
Helpmate: A woman who cooks the kill and feeds the babies.
Playmate: A woman who has tickle fights and plays pin-the-tail-on-the-mammoth with me.
Soulmate: A woman who shares my thoughts and dreams and works to invent the wheel.

To some, this is information you already know and basic. In fact, the book is so simple it's enlightening. With each turned page, the callous walls of my heart began to soften as I realized how many mistakes I've made in previous relationships.... and, if I'm honest with you, in my current relationship.

Married or single, this book is a quick, easy read that has great readability for both men and women. To order the book, click here.

MY PERSONAL DATA COMPLIATION:

Women: How important is romance to you? Do you pay for dates? Does your date open your car door? Married folk: Are you happy with your sexlife? Is the man the spiritual leader in your house? Do you allow him to be?

Men: How important is silence to you? Do you like to talk about everything? What's the first thing that attracts you to a women? Married folk: Are you happy with your sexlife? Are you the spiritual leader? What's something you'd change about your wife?

As always, you can answer anonymously :)

servant and slave of all...

2010-03-03T05:48:00.000-08:00

Isn't there a fundamental difference between a slave and a servant? A slave, as opposed to a servant, is indentured, has no rights, has no choice. At the core of my understanding I thought I knew the difference. Recently it became apparent that I may muttle the definition of both.

A servant for God? Oh, sure, sounds great! A slave for God? Eerrrrtt! Hold up, I didn't sign up for this.

As a self-professed control freak, the sound of slave makes me twitch. But Paul in Ephesians 6:5 speaks about a doulos, a slave of Christ. Doulos was a servant by choice, which we are called to be.

Meet Maria. She is a woman I met in Mexico who is truly a servant. From the moment I met her, she smiled a wordless greeting and motioned with her head that we were welcomed, then continued to complete her business. She's free to come and go but she chooses to serve. She chooses to remain. She chooses to complete the task set before her. Yes, this is her job. But her humble servanthood and volitionary choice to serve is a testament to her loyalty.

Maria never once complained about her job; in fact, she valued and appreciated what she did. Which illustrated Mark 10:43-45 in real-time, ...whoever wants to be great among you must be a servant, and who ever wants to be first must be a slave to all. For even the Son of Man didn't come to be served, but to serve, and give his life a ransom for many.

How can you serve today? Are you serving with your whole heart? Can we be a doulos to all we encounter? Be like Jesus: serve.

knowing who he is, so i'll never forget who i am...

2010-03-02T05:34:00.000-08:00

As we walked down roads and up alleyways, I could see the excitement in my father's eyes as he shared stories from his childhood. If cobblestone roads could talk, stories of Revolution renegades and European exiles would emanate from the stones beneath our feet. San Miguel de Allende is a popular artist community full of brightly colored buildings and historic monuments that bring visitors from all over the world, even today.

Memories flooded our conversations as we walked aimlessly through dusty streets. He shared with me the struggles of growing up alone in the city. He shared with me the memories which canonized this magical city. He shared with me who he was, so I'll never forget who I am.

There is something important about knowing your history. Knowing where you come from will determine where you are going.

At dinner last night we soaked in the quiet streets and boisterous crickets as we reminisced about where God has brought both of us. He and I have a passion for mobilizing people to love and serve God. But without our history of hurt, struggle, and pain, I'm not sure we'd be able to speak with conviction on the grace bestowed to us through the salvation of Christ.

In Leviticus the children of Israel are reminded over and over to impart their history of struggle to their children so they would never forget the miraculous deeds done for them. I'm not an Israelite, but today I heard the words of my father and as a child of God, I will never forget the miraculous deeds done for us through the Divine hand of God.

What are your roots? Where are you from? How has your journey determined the way you live your life?

united we stand...

2010-03-01T01:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes as Americans we have a chip on our shoulder when it comes to the way we do church. Oh, don't deny it. It's true. We show off our fancy sanctuaries with the best lighting and sound board. The comfortable chairs with lumbar support. The best worship leaders with the low cut v-necks and fitted denim. Yes, we do church just fine in the good ol' USofA.

Or do we?

I walked into the sanctuary and worshipped with brothers and sisters from Mavuno Church in Uganda as part of Mariner's Global Outreach weekend. As vibrantly colored shirts and dresses swayed alongside their American counterparts, I stood in complete awe of how two cultures came together so succinctly to worship the same God.

Not the God of the United States of America, but of the United Hearts of the World. While we sang loudly and moved unabashedly, God became unilaterally nonpartisan. The God of you and the God of me became the God of we.

Pastor Muriithi shared his heart and vision for the people of Africa. Seated in the beautiful sanctuary with comfortable chairs with lumbar support, I realized that maybe, just maybe, we aren't the only ones with the right way to do church. The soft spoken words oozed like sweet honey from the heart of Muriathii. Our vision, he said, is to turn ordinary people into fearless influencers. I'm an ordinary person who is appropriating this vision, mission, and motto for life.

To steal American verbiage, I can earnestly say united we stand. Together we will not fall.

full circle...

2010-02-25T06:53:00.000-08:00

As we sat on the cherry-wood table in the green room at church last night, I had to share with him how much my life has changed. Largely in part to a simple conversation we had late one night near the Dead Sea. He never knew how much my life's journey would be impacted by a simple question: Why do you do what you do?

In true providential and sovereign fashion, I got to share with him last night how profoundly my life has changed because of a simple conversation. Sonny inspired not only my direction in life, but this entire blog. I had to do something--I just didn't know what it was.

Today marks my 200th blog post and now I get to share with you why I do what I do:

L-O-V-E

Love is still the motivating factor in all I do.

At the 100 blog post, I said I would commit to 100 more. Now this day is here and I'm promising to commit to 100 more. I wrestle with this concept of blogging because I'm not a blogger. I don't want to be a professional blogger or a mega-blogger. I want to change lives. So I'm a speaker, teacher, and writer who happens to blog.

Thank you for coming here. Thank you for letting me be ugly and honest. Thank you for accepting the broken parts of me. Thank you for walking this journey together. I'm a better person because of you. Here's to 100 more posts...

*Edit to post: If you are attending the CCM retreat tomorrow, I want to meet up! I'll be in the cafe at 5pm if you want to chat :)

jumbo the elephant and me...

2010-02-24T09:02:00.000-08:00

Jumbo was an elephant from the French Sudan who was so strong he could pick up trees from their roots, tow two tons, and stood over thirteen feet high. When I heard this on the radio this morning I didn't believe it. But my friends Wikipedia and Google told it was true. So it has to be. Duh.

In researching this elephant, I couldn't help but notice that he and I have two things in common.

1. We both hate PT Barnum and his lame circus.

2. We both were tethered to things as children which formed our outlook on life.

History says Jumbo was tethered to a 12-inch stake from the moment he could walk. The one-foot stake kept him in a certain position and disabled him to leave. Every time he tried to walk away, he couldn't. As the years passed and his size and strength increased, Jumbo believe that the 12-inch stake would not let him leave. Yes, the elephant who could lift trees from their roots was tethered to a 12-inch stake. He couldn't walk away.

I have a 12-inch stake in my life too. Since I was a child I was conditioned to believe I would have to accept a certain condition in my life. For years I would try to get away, but I felt trapped. I couldn't walk away.

As I heard Jumbo's story, my heart broke because I was believing the same illusion he was.

We have to stop believing the illusion that are problems or circumstances or childhood experiences have the power to keep us trapped. Through a divine power not of ourselves,we can pull up the stake which holds us down and move forward. We must walk away.

If you don't you have the power to believe you can walk away, think about this:

If you believe in Jesus Christ and his claims, you are essentially believing a man came to earth, lived a sinless life, went to the cross for sins he never committed, endured a horrific death, and rose from the pit of his grave three days later as a witness to us even today. If you believe in Jesus, you must believe he can pull you away from the things which hold you down.

But you must walk away. So the question remains, what is holding you down?

paulie, rocky, and fighting the fight...

2010-02-23T08:30:00.000-08:00

We are created for purpose. Intrinsically we all have desires of accomplishing something far beyond our natural capacity. It boils down to a simple fact: We all want to do something significant.

In order to do something seemingly impossible, we need to possess a passion which will push us each day.

My passion comes in the form of Paulie from Rocky who sits on my shoulder like Jiminy Cricket. Com' on! You got this. Hang in 'ther! And I, like Rocky, sometimes feel like, Yo' Paulie, I want to do 'dis, but I'm gettin' hit on both sides by the Russian.

But we have a fight to fight and we can't be quitters! We must accomplish what God has called us to do. In loneliness of singlehood, in trials of marriage, in despair of sickness, in hopeless poverty, we stand and fight. Why? Because we aren't quitters. God has put passionate desires in our hearts for a reason. If your passions are in alignment with God's will for you life, is there anything too big for Him to handle?

Come hell or high water, loss of home or loved one, failure in job or ill-gained success, we can't stop from guilt or regret, fear or failure. When your face is on the ring floor, you're beaten up and bruised, and you feel like you want to quit, remember that Paulie is in your corner shouting, Com' on! You got this. Hang in 'ther!

FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT (1 Timothy 6:12) What's your fight? What are your dreams? Who is your Paulie?

the buried life...

2010-02-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

Everyone has dreams. Everyone has desires. So why it is so hard to vocalize dreams and desires?

Perhaps it's fear. Perhaps it's failure. Perhaps it's fear of failure.

Or perhaps we don't even know what we want.

Last night my little sister called me and informed me she wanted to watch a documentary. (If you know my little sister, you'll know that it's nothing short of a miracle she wants to so anything educational.) I immediately jumped at the opportunity and laughed when I found out it was on MTV. Of course Zoe would watch a documentary MTV. Of course.

In the course of 30 minutes, I decided maybe MTV wasn't that bad after all.

The documentary series, The Buried Life, was so inspirational that I decided I’m going to create my own list. Yes, yes, I made new year’s resolutions, but I’m talking about things I must do before I pass into the pearly gates. Some will be silly, but all of them will be dreams I’ve never spoken of.

Here’s the premise of the series: when something is scratched off the buried list, someone else is granted or assisted in making their own dream come true. It’s moving. It’s real. It’s biblical.

So--what’s on your list? If I can help you achieve one of your goals when I achieve one of my goals, we’ll both be better because of it. Like James says, you have not because you ask not. What’s one thing off of your list?

Friday Video Post: youth ministry and the ONE...

2010-02-19T09:52:00.000-08:00

I was new to youth ministry when the youth pastor asked me to oversee the junior high and senior girls. In my grandiose ideas of living like Christ, I decided to emulate the actions of Jesus. In my mind, it was going to be spiritual and holy and absolutely fantastically amazing!

But if you've ever done youth ministry, you know that there's always ONE kid who will mess up a plan, an event, or a moment. Yes, that ONE kid who believes they know everything, they're always right, and they could've done everything way better than you ever could have. And yes, that ONE kid came to my event.

The event was off to a great start. Tons of sugary snacks, greasy pizza, and cacophonous laughter from teen girls excited to sing karaoke and stay up all night. I gathered the girls up and explained to them that I would be leading them for the next couple years of youth ministry and wanted to serve them like Jesus. As an act of service to girls, our leadership team decided to wash their feet in basins of warm, sweet smelling water.

As worship played in the background, each leader washed and cleaned each of the girls feet while I shared the passage in John 13 where Jesus humbled himself and washed the feet of the disciples. It was emotional. By the time I finished reading and grabbed a basin there was only ONE girl left to be attended to. And yes, it was the ONE girl I didn't want to even get near to.

I looked at her feet and had to smoother the gag reflexes forming in my chest. It looked like she walked 10 miles in tar and her toe nails hadn't been cut in 40 years. Of all the girls here, I said to myself, I had to get this ONE.

As I touched her feet and slipped them into the bubbly basin, she began to weep uncontrollably. She buried her face in her hands and through painful sobs she apologized to me. She apologized for being negative and allowing her bitterness to over take her. She explained that she felt as if no one loved her... not even her mom. Yet as she heard the words of Christ read aloud and had her feet washed, she knew she was loved. Loved by God and loved by me.

Boy, did I feel like a schmuck!!! I started crying and confessed to her that I needed to apologize too. We were sobbing wrecks. But sobbing wrecks who felt the presence of Jesus in that room.

white flower speaks...

2010-02-18T06:41:00.000-08:00

Behind the computer screen is a land far, far away where you can be as honest as you so choose. The blogosphere is a special place for people to speak about secrets deep within, give opinions otherwise ignored, or voyeuristically peer into the lives of others.

Two years ago I began to blog anonymously. I chronicled lame dating experiences, my struggles with the scale, and secrets only told to the blogosphere anonymously. Sharing the holy grail of my inner world was difficult but cathartic. Yes, it was an online diary of a funny fat girl who attracted the weirdest men known to creation. And seriously, it was my life.

Until one day everything changed.

Without going into details, I discovered my little secret blog wasn't so secret. In fact, it felt like the pages had been ripped out and posted all on the lockers at school. On one specific day, I knew something was off kilter. I knew something wasn't right. I knew that they knew that we all knew I had an online diary. Like a scene out of a teen movie:

Cue a teen version of Bianca to walk down the hall! Cue the angst-ridden teens staring at her! Cue the group of mean girls laughing! Cue the power-wielding jock who controls all public opinion!

And that my friends, was how it all went down.

I drove home that night after church sobbing uncontrollably. I felt betrayed, crushed, and embarrassed. Then I felt angry--and wanted to slash some tires (I'm Puerto Rican--they're crazy!). But after a long conversation with Matt he assured me that it wasn't done out of malicious intent and people will always be shady.* Even Christians.

That was a turning point for me. I realized there was no power in anonymity and God gave me a literary voice for a reason: I could write.

We have gifts and talents that are bestowed upon us for a reason. Like the old Sunday School song says, why hide it under a bushel? Let your light shine! What are your talents? Do you write? Do you sing? Do you cook well? Do you sew? Don't live in anonymity!

Everybody has a talent. What is yours?

Matthew 25:22-23, 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.' His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things...'

*He didn't say shady. He's from the Mid West. But I paraphrased. Because I'm cool like that.

pleasing aroma...

2010-02-16T07:09:00.000-08:00

In Leviticus we read about the importance of offerings. Some offered pristine herd animals, some offered flock animals or birds, and others offered grain offerings. But everyone gave the best of what they could.

...an aroma pleasing to the Lord.

This phrase permeates the first three chapters of the law laden book of Leviticus. Everything offered up to the Lord was a pleasing aroma. Everything.

Sometimes we can feel like what we offer is piddles compared to what she gave or he donated. But what is that to God? All we are required to offer is what we have. Don't believe me? A poor widow in Mark 12 gave two pennies as an offering and Jesus said her offering was out of abundance.

So what are you bringing? Are you tithing to your church? Do you volunteer? When what the last time you mentored a child?

Today we have the ability to be an aroma pleasing to the Lord. Let's do it!

lonely hearts club...

2010-02-15T06:25:00.000-08:00

After my three-year dysfunctional relationship with Satan* ended, I memorized Psalm 34:11, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. For six and a half years I was President of the Single Hearts Club. Yes, I was the self-professed Six Year Single. I joked about it, but inside I struggled with doing Life alone. I did everything by myself; shopping, eating out, studying, driving to holiday functions, hanging with groups of friends.

There were times where I didn't mind; other times weren't as successful. Many nights after youth ministry I would chill with my two friends, Ben&Jerry, while watching You've Got Mail as I never received any mail. Pathetic? Yes. Honest? Oh, yeah!

But here's one thing I took for granted: I called out to my one, true best friend 24/7*. When someone couldn't listen, when no one would care, when everyone was busy, I leaned upon the only one who was there. I would have honest and tough conversations with my Divine Love about how lonely I felt, how ugly I must be, how ridiculously pathetic I was for watching hours of television on Valentine's day so I wouldn't be seen alone. But He listened. And cared. And gave me peace. Was I alone? Yes. But I had someone who was close to me... because the Lord is close to the brokenhearted.

So, let's do some market research. If you're single, what's one thing you enjoy about being single? What's something you hate about being single? If you're married, what are things you miss about your singleness? If you're married, please be gentle! And as always, please remember singleness is not a disease :)

*Satan is a fictitious name to protect the [not-so] innocent.

*24/7=24 hours a day, seven days a week

because...

2010-02-14T06:58:00.000-08:00

because you like to wash dishes...

because your laugh makes me laugh...

because your hands are weathered and worn...

because your hugs make everything right...

because you don't let me win...

because you believe i can win...

because you make the best top ramen...

because you like when i speak spanish...

because you let me laugh loudly...

because you like to dance with me...

because you give helpless people hope...

because you like pink, cotton candy jelly beans...

because you took me back--twice...

because your laundry smells amazing...

because you think i'm beautiful without makeup...

because you'll hug me when i'm really, really mad at you...

because you've been hurt by love yet still believe in the institution of marriage...

because words are all i have...

i.love.you

if all of this were to end tomorrow, i am a better person today because of you. thank you for not trying to make me happy, but to make me holy. you're a small reflection of the love christ has for me. thank you for loving me just the way i am.

Friday Video Post: clubbing...

2010-02-12T09:05:00.000-08:00

Maybe it was a bad first experience. Maybe it was because my mother told me it was bad. Maybe because it was dark and smelled like sweaty feet. Or maybe because I felt convicted simply being there. Either way, I hated being at Los Angeles' Club Kiss that Friday night in 1999.

I was curious to experience what a cool Friday night felt like. You know, all the cool kids go to downtown to club. Of course I had to go! After being there for twenty minutes, I was over it! I thought a club was for dancing. Boy, was I wrong! Drinks offered, sleazy Guido-looking guys wanting to dance, and sauna-like dance floors have tainted me ever since.

So maybe I'm not the right person to discuss the question of clubbing. Here's where you come in. True learning experiences occur in dialogue. As we discuss the question of clubbing, what experiences do you have to share that would help people formulate decisions. Please do not smite people with your comments. Yesterday I got some AMAZING feedback from facebook. I love interacting with people on that page--let's keep the gloves on ;)

I would love to reconcile our personal convictions to what the bible says to be true :)

Here are some questions to help you check the intent of your heart:

What are you wearing? Is it appropriate?
What will you drink? Should you drink? [drinking discussed on the this vlog]
Will your actions cause you to stumble? Will it cause someone else to stumble?
What will your interactions be with the opposite sex?
Why are you going?
Will going to a club help or hurt your faith?

cutting: by his wounds we are healed...

2010-02-11T06:47:00.000-08:00

She bled for twelve years. A nameless, faceless woman in Mark 5 pushed through the throngs of people all wanting a miracle. But she was different. She believed. Her belief healed her.

Suzie bled in silence. Behind her pixie physique and wide smile was a girl who was unaccepted, untouched, unloved. Youth camps, all-nighters, bible studies, and mission trips all hid the internal bleeding which was killing her softly. No one knew her.

Jesus stopped the world on it's axis to meet the need of one woman. A woman he knew had been unaccepted, untouched, and unloved. According to the halacha Hebrew law, a bleeding woman couldn't sit in certain places, eat with certain people, or touch anyone who was pure. But she knew, she really, really, believed that a man name Jesus could heal her. And he did.

In the suicide ward I sat with Suzie for hours. A cutter, a loner, a girl hemorraging from a broken heart who masked it with indie fashion and blonde hair. Unsure of what to say, the only words said for the first hour was, What can I do for you? She laid on the hospital bed; the red scars glowed like neon signs for help against the clean white sheets.

Just touch me, she said. Just love me.

In living Life out loud, we have the power to be the physical touch of Jesus. Though I didn't have the power to heal Suzie, I told her she didn't have to suffer any longer. Her scars and stripes are now going to serve as signs of rememberance of what was stated in Isaiah 53:5, by His wounds we are healed.

100 word wednesday: what does jesus look like...

2010-02-10T07:23:00.000-08:00

A wildly famous pastor recently said, I couldn't worship a God who I could beat up. I wonder if this pastor thinks Jesus opened up beer cans with his teeth and drove a V8 truck with exposed chest hair. Why? Because he's the epitome of manliness and expects Jesus to have been the same way.

This got me thinking. If we created an image of God who is like us, this is totemic theology and a slippery slope.

So, what does Jesus look like to you? How do you envision Jesus to have been?

A vegetarian with soft hands who loved children?

A liberal who served up wine when the party got dull?

A beefy leader who overthrew tables to lay the smack down on haters?

What does Jesus look like to you and why?

dating 101...

2010-02-09T06:00:00.000-08:00

Junior and I have been friends since youth group several years ago. Now he's super smart, teaches the bible to young minds, and found a BIOLA girl to marry him in spite of his hilarious antics. We've been dialoging for months about how difficult it is to meander through the labyrinth of Christian dating, so we decided to go to the masses of the world wide web and stand on our soapboxes. For more ramblings about life and culture, you can check out his blog. If you agree with him, leave a comment. If you don't agree with him, keep opening your soda cans with your teeth while singing Amazing Grace on your porch and throw stones at us [yes, that could be in the form of an anonymous comment]. Enjoy!

Christian dating has certainly become extremely complicated. I’ve heard sermons on the topic using the passage in Genesis where God put Adam asleep and when he woke up, Eve was there. Therefore, do nothing and “wait on the Lord.” I have never heard a sermon preached on Judges 21 when the tribe of Benjamin kidnapped the daughters of Shiloh and made them their wives as “instructive” for the same topic. They are both OT narratives. Why apply one and not the other?

I’ve read Christian dating books such as the popular I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris. Although it should have been called I Said Hello to Bad Exegesis. The premise of the book basically was to avoid dating at all cost because it was somehow more spiritual. Then there’s Henry Cloud’s How to Get a Date Worth Keeping, which makes dating a commandment and to date everyone in sight.

With so much unclear direction and different authorities saying numerous things, it’s no wonder why women have taken the subject so seriously, and I argue a little too seriously. When I first started attending Biola University as an undergraduate I thought I was in the Land of Milk and Honeys. I would casually ask out girls to coffee just to get to know them. To my amazement, every time the word “coffee” was mentioned the girl reacted like I asked her to bear my children. Why are women taking something so simple and making it complicated? (This is where I see older men crack a smile and have “the talk about women” with me.) Why does a woman feel if she can’t see herself marrying the guy on the spot, she can’t even have coffee with him? Is anything in life that instantaneous? Consider all your closet relationships. Did they happen over night? No. And yet you expect arguably the most important human relationship, your spouse, to happen that way? Baffling.

No matter how you pour it, coffee doesn’t mean marriage. If the guy has the intestinal fortitude to ask you to coffee it might be worth going. There are no obligations afterwards. Some coffee dates might be good and some not but at least you get to experience getting to know different types of people. As relational beings, we all benefit from it. Who knows, maybe you end up actually enjoying yourself. In short, don’t take dating so serious and simply enjoy getting to know people because you’re stressing all of us out.

monuments and memorials...

2010-02-08T06:41:00.000-08:00

Exodus 26-27:21

Years of labor, tons of finances, and materials imported by majestic standards went into building the tabernacle of God. History tells us Solomon spared no expense when creating a dwelling place for the Lord Almighty.

I don't want to get mystical or ethereal, but Paul said we are a temple of the Holy Spirit. How much labor is put into building our temple? Are we investing in bringing majestic standards into our life?

The exterior of the temple was a monument. But the interior of the temple was a memorial; a place to dwell and meditate on the sovereignty and goodness of God. Are we only shells of what we should be? Does God have the ability to be worshipped and extolled in the interior of hearts?

In the words of @RevRun, this is real talk. So keep it real.

Friday Video Post: is gambling a sin...

2010-02-05T09:52:00.000-08:00

Dear God,

If gambling is wrong please forgive me playing one nickle in a slot machine with Grandma in Las Vegas when I turned 21.

In Jesus name, amen.

Growing up in a conservative household was fun! We learned that Las Vegas is the modern day Sodom and Gomorrah, tattoos are bad, and smoking is Satan's candy. Today I loathe Vegas, don't have any tattoos, and cringe at the smell of smoke. But it has nothing to do with my theology and everything to do with personal choices.

Though there is substantial argumentation for a stance against gambling [see below], in the light of scripture I want to be careful not to sow red letters onto the chest of specific vices.

The bible is clear on greed (1 Tim. 6:10), addiction (1 Cor. 6:12), and lust (1 Thes. 4:4-5), which are commonly associated with gambling. But there is also this freedom and liberty given to Christians to be responsible for our choices [reason #827,481 why I love being a Christian].

Conservative arguementation against gambling (and my two cents):

Denies the reality of God's sovereignty. The whole discussion of sovereignty is loaded, so I will simply say that "chance" is contrary to Psalm 103:19.
Builds on irresponsible stewarship. Matthew 6:19-20. With that being said, if I'm tithing, paying bills, and canceling debt before I use leisure allowences, I'm still a good steward.
Driven by the sin of covetousness. Exodus 20:17. But this could be said for clothing, cars, and the opposite sex.
Builds on the explotation of others. Exodus 20:15. If we're going to split hairs, Nike shoes are made upon the explotation of Chinese workers, our fruits and vegetables are picked by under-paid workers, and our coffee is at the expense of children's lives in South America.

Comments, thoughts, stones to throw?

two minutes and two points...

2010-02-04T08:10:00.000-08:00

Twitter is a funny world full of #hashtags and @symbols. My mother is so confused by the entire concept of it. I pray for her. Just kidding. Well, half kidding.

The thing about Twitter I've liked is that I'm connecting with people I wouldn't have otherwise known. Like Andrew Burchfield. He's from Texas. And he has a heart bigger than the state he lives in. He's planning Realevate, a conference in Texas for young adults and asked me to participate--get this--via technology.

Mom and me don't really understand the cyber world, but we still think it's cool. Like electricity. I don't know how it works but I like it.

Anyway, I'm posting the video shout out here so we can participate in heart, but not presence. If you know anyone near the Texas Bible Institute (satellite campus) or the 10 and 71 freeways in the Lone Star state, check out the conference this weekend.

Realevate Conference from Bianca Juarez on Vimeo.

how to save a life...

2010-02-03T04:58:00.000-08:00

It's my first official monthly post at (in)courage, so I decided to talk about David Hasselhoff, Wendy Peffercorn, Conan the Barbarian, and me. Yes, somehow I fit into a story with those characters.

You can click on the (in)courage link to read the full story. The comments have been turned off so you can join the conversation there!

I held my whistle loosely on my lips, I donned black ray bans, and my candy apple red toenail polish matched exactly to the color of my swimsuit. I totally looked like a lifeguard.

Unbeknownst to me a seven year-old girl by the name of Emily was drowning right beneath my candy-apple colored toes. Six weeks of lifeguard training went out the window when I saw Emily's blue eyes the size of saucers from under the water.

To the shame of David Hasselhoff and hundreds of Baywatch episodes I watched, I impulsively reached down into the water like Conan the Barbarian and pulled her out by her hair. Yes, her hair.

To read the full story, click on the icon below:

sally field, 184, and gratitude for the journey...

2010-02-02T10:26:00.000-08:00

I won't bust out a Sally Field, You like me, you really, really like! But nine months and 184 posts later warrant gratitude and appreciation for the journey blog readers have gone on with me.

Without those who stop here and encourage me, I am nothing. I'm a voice speaking to no one, I'm a message unheard, I'm a hypocrite behind a facade. So, thank you.

At the beginning of the year, I was approached by Outreach, an amazing organization meeting the needs of those in Christian ministry. Outreach is company who has woven ministry into their philosophy. At all costs, I want ministry to trump business. But in doing so, I've been taken advantage of on many occasions. Many occasions.

Chad Cannon and the folks at Outreach have extended a hand of friendship to represent me on a national level. I'm humbled and honored to be part of their team for the next year and beyond! Now that everything is official, I wanted to share the news.

Also, the lovely ladies at (in)courage have so graciously invited me to be part of writing team. Monthly I'll be posting on their site and connecting with them to (in)courage people across the nation and beyond. Tomorrow is my first official post with them [read: I'm nervous]. It would be lovely if you stopped by to check out the site. One day I'll write a very interesting blog about my first post with (in)courage, but for now, I'll laugh to myself and hope Lisa the office secretary from church keeps our secret safe!

Arigato, gracias, merci, salamat, grazie, danke, toda, THANK YOU! Internet, because of you, I'm a grateful girl who feels perforated, pock-marked, broken, yet accepted by those who are willing to continue walking. Limping, jacked up, tore-up-from-the-floor-up, and all. I love you.

be an EMT...

2010-02-01T06:32:00.000-08:00

Standing in line donning Hawaiian print shirts, sandals, and straw hats, travelers from across the nation waited in line at LAX to board a plane to paradise. The usual noise cluttered the terminal as excitement wafted in the air.

A shriek pierced the noise and a call for help brought the airline check-in stations to a halt. The body of an adult man laid on the ground helplessly as someone yelled for a doctor. An average looking man with a small carry-on rushed to the body. He flung off his jacket, tilted the victims head back and instantaneously begin rescue breathing and CPR.

I watched in horror as the friend of the victim tried stopping his mouth from touching the mouth of the victim, but I couldn't understand why until I heard, He has AIDS!

The air left the room as the doctor sat on his knees, held a lifeless head in his hands, and questioned if this man's life was worth his own.

Five years later, I'm still asking the same question.

The doctor took a vow to hold Life sacred. So have I. No, I'm not a medical doctor, but I'm a spiritual caretaker as a lover of Jesus Christ. When rushed to a hospital in dire need of care, no one asks if you're Christian or Buddhist, gay or straight, legal or illegal. The primary focus is to save life.

As a spiritual EMT, my job is to get people to the Doctor, not ask questions. Why? Because Life is important whether you're White, Black, Gay, Straight, Asian, Haitian, or not of this nation. I never want to grab my carry-on, put on my jacket, and leave the airport terminal without trying to save a life. Why? Because I don't want to live with regrets like the doctor on his knees at Los Angeles International Airport five years ago.

Are you emergency medical technician? Do you want to be? If you were the doctor, how would have you responded?

Friday Video Post: is a coffee date a date?

2010-01-29T09:32:00.000-08:00

Church, circa 2008:

Him: Hey, I was wondering if maybe we could go get some coffee after church.

Me: [blink] Well, um... [blink, blink] uh, you know, I, um--no. I'm sorry.

Him: You don't drink coffee?

Me: I'm sorry. You see, the whole thing is a little serious for me. Like, I have a busy schedule and serve in youth ministry and if the kids saw me, blah, blah, blahblahblah [insert infinite blahs here]...

Somebody slap me. Hard.

There are, shall we say, uber sensitive Christians out there and I was (sometimes am) one of them. You know those people who ask for the seas to part, the heavens to open, and a divine voice to give us signs and wonders? Yes, Internet, that was/is/will be me.

I believe God can speak supernaturally if He so chooses. But the idea of dating in the Christian realm is complicated to say the least. If I'm completely honest with you, I suck at it. Like really, really suck at it. I'm the last one to answer the questions for this week, but there are my thoughts:

Here are some caveats and suggestions which are important in protecting your reputation and heart:

If someone is asking everyone and their mother out to coffee, they are a player. And you need your PhD*!
If someone keeps asking you out but has not or does not want to have the DTR, they are not interested in making the relationship serious.
If you know after one or two dates that you aren't interested in the other person, be honest. Don't waste your time and their money!
If someone keeps asking you out but likes keeping things at a shallow level, it's a serious case of DD*.
If this is just a coffee date to get to know someone, there is NO reason why you should be holding hands, kissing, or more. Like my grandmother would say, don't give away what men should work for.
Have at least TWO standards: 1. Does this person have a JOB? 2. Does this person love JESUS? If not, this person isn't ready to date. Period. The end.

Comments, additions, stones to throw?

**Edit to post: Tomorrow Matt will address some key questions to The Great Coffee Debate :)

*PhD=Player Hater Degree

*DTR=Defining The Relationship

*DD=Denial Dating

borders in life...

2010-01-28T09:57:00.000-08:00

Writing is like photography. Given a frame, you can omit anything if it's outside the frame. The background can be cropped out, the foreground can be highlighted. Essentially, you reveal what you want to reveal.

I have a frame in writing. My frame includes the pretty and excludes the ugly. My frame highlights the good and ignores the bad. My frame crops out secrets battles and highlights successes. Internet, if we're truly honest with each other, we all have frames in life.

Yesterday I was speaking to my sister (who ironically is a photographer) and listed a host of things I'm battling. Some serious, some hilarious. At the end of the conversation, she encouraged me to be real. Hello, this is what I preach about, right? Why don't you just be you, she encouraged. It's not a novel concept, but it's frightening.

I don't like the Me who is outside the frame. I like cropping out the secret food binges I've struggled with childhood. I like highlighting speaking events that I love, but hide the feeling of failure as I walk away from the podium. I like saying I live in Los Angeles, but will never discuss the financial toll this comes with. Why? Because being on the inside of the frame is clean, neat, and perfect.

But life is not lived in a frame. I'm not clean, neat, and perfect. I'm jacked up, messed up, and addicted to food. But I'm Me. And I will continue to believe the facade if don't write like I live. So this is me. Stripped, bare, and honest.

Pull down the borders and share what's outside the frame. At least you can comment in anonymity! Now the world knows that Oprah and I struggle with diets?!

What do you struggle with?

Photo credit: Jasmine Star who wrote a blog and posted this picture of us when we were twelve. I'm wear stripes which obviously adds 40 pounds. Obviously.

100 word wednesday: street theologians...

2010-01-27T07:00:00.000-08:00

Our goal should be to build clear, accurate, biblical theology of Life. But if your life is anything like mine, you don't live out your theology in some ivory-tower world of peaceful libraries and deep thoughts. No, we are street theologians, trying to exercise our faith in a world of brokenness.

I'm a sinner. You're a sinner. We are sinners.

The daily struggle with sin experienced by genuine Christians underscores the fact that while Christ certainly saved us, he does not transform us instantly into non-sinners. That process begins the moment we are converted, and continues throughout our life on earth, but it will only be finished when we leave this messed up world.

In doing Life we can aim for solid theological living, but acquiesce to the idea that we will falter. So be a street theologian! Keep it real. Walk with a spirit of a hustla' and the swagger of a college kid, because really, we're not perfect but aim to serve a God who is.

retreat...

2010-01-26T06:46:00.000-08:00

Retreats are as old as Christianity. From Jesus leaving into the desert to the early church fathers who removed themselves for a few days of prayer and penance, retreats have been part of Christian history.

Whether your church calls them a retreat, advance, recoup, getaway, or holiday, the premise should be the same: Creating moments away from everyday life to learn, see, and feel the presence of God.*

I've had the luxury of speaking at a number of retreats and I always LOVE meeting new people and connecting on a spiritual level. But I ain't gonna lie... I have a favorite. Yes, I am partial. But here's the good news: you can come!

If you're looking for a good women's retreat to attend, join up with my church as we head into Murrieta, California for a time in the desert [don't worry, we won't sleep in tents] to learn, listen, and love. Sandy McIntosh from Horizon Christian Fellowship, my pastor's wife, and myself will be speaking and teaching and you're invited! [It's fine! I already asked if you could come.]

For more information, click here or call the church office at (323) 724-8464 for more information. (Date: February 26-28 Cost: $165 Location: Murrieta Conference Center)

*An added benefit is to be surrounded by other woman who are there for the same reason... without husbands, minus children, sans textbooks and midterms! Holla'. And there's medicinal hot springs on site to soak in until you turn into a raisin.

silent worship...

2010-01-25T07:17:00.000-08:00

God of wonders beyond our galaxy, you are holy, holy. The universe declares your majesty, you are holy, holy...

The words were audible and for all intents and purposes, no one knew they were empty. A long drive to church, a long walk from the parking spot, and a long line in the restroom wasn't the preparation I required for worshipping on Sunday morning. But alas, the 20something worship leaders wearing skinny jeans and v-neck shirts were rocking their scenester haircuts and singing a song that been sung one million and two times before. No offense Chris Tomlin, I've never liked it.

Until yesterday.

I saw a group of passionate movement from a section of the sanctuary. I stared. I stared at the woman who passionately swayed her arms. I stared at the way she moved her face and lipped each word as if she was shouting. But she was silent.

Early in the morning I will celebrate the light and as I stumble in through the darkness, I will call your name by night...

Those following her worshipped in silence, but they were far louder than my cavernous words. They expressively raised their hands from their mouths and silently shouted the lyric, as I stumble in the darkness, I will call your name by night. I was dumbfounded upon a realization. My empty words ceased. They could never call His name by night. Each lyric was silent worship to the Creator of Heaven and Earth signed louder than I could ever sing.

They were deaf.

God of wonders beyond our galaxy, you are holy, holy. Precious Lord reveal your heart to me, Father holy, holy...

Friday Video Post: why are christians so ignorant...

2010-01-22T08:32:00.000-08:00

Why Are Christians So Ignorant? from Bianca Juarez on Vimeo.

What can we do as Christians to educate ourselves? More importantly, what are you doing to educate yourself? Readers are leaders, share your booklists :)

For more infomration about Lumen and the amazing speakers who will be there, check out website and register for FREE. See you at Mariners on the 31st!

Please pray for Haiti. If it's the most you can do, it's the least you can do.

steps, leaps, decisions, choices...

2010-01-21T08:00:00.000-08:00

The pavement beneath my feet burned as I stood on the pool deck. I stared at the reflection of a five-year old and knew I'd never be the leaper. The one who recklessly flung into unknown waters was also the one who could suffer from cold-water shock, water displacement through the nostrils, and brain freeze.

If you're anything like the five-year old me, we were the ones who splashed the pavement we were standing on to cool it off and sit on the deck while we lightly dipped our feet into the pool. Then, after the water was temperate, we'd slowly wade in. Knees, waist, neck, final drop in the water.

I'm not a leaper. But that doesn't mean I don't take steps. People speak about spiritual matters as leaps of faith. And I sure there are those who dive head first into the pool of faith, leaping recklessly without fear. Then there are those who, at the cross-roads of decision making, suffer from analysis paralysis.

Peter was called by God on the Sea of Galilee in a tumultuous storm. Why did the Lord call Peter out of the boat and not the other disciples? There were eleven other disciples in the boat, yet only one asked. Perhaps God is calling you out to take a step in a tumultuous storm. How will you respond? In times of decision making, here's what we can learn from Pete:

1. Ask in prayer. The other disciples didn't ask; therefore, they were not invited by Christ to step out. Don't be afraid to ask. He may not always respond with the answer we hoped for, but He will respond.

2. Seek God's will. What did Peter ask for? He asked for Christ's Word: If it's you... tell me... He sought the Lord first. The goal in taking steps of faith is obedience to the will of our Lord. Faith is not a tool to achieve our own agenda. Peter wasn't making demands or claiming his "right" to walk on water. He was humbly asking for God to show Himself true.

3. Faith waits on the Lord. Peter isn't a leaper. I like him. He's normal. After Pete asked, he waited. Or as I like to say, waded :) The faith that walks on water is faith that waits on God until He answers. Many teachers love this vivid metaphor for believing God for great things. We love to hear about action, the excitement of taking leaps of faith. It's highly empowering, motivating, and inspiring. Yes, I want to take a leap of faith! I want to walk on water! I want to get out of the boat! But Peter didn't get out of the boat until the Lord responded. And, I might add, he didn't leap. He simply took a step.

So, are you sitting in a boat? Have you asked the Lord to call you? Are you at least taking a step? You might not be a leaper... but does it really matter? Just take one step. That's all you need you need to do before walking on water.

a great man and one sentence...

2010-01-20T02:00:00.000-08:00

Two hundred words of goodness spew from Seth Godin everyday. How someone could be so brilliant everyday is beyond me; but I'm grateful for his insight, intellectualism, and information. In a recent article he stated many people are being brainwashed into being average. Moved yet immobilized at the same time, I thought of Clare Booth Luce, the playwright, journalist, and Republican Member of Congress.

In 1962, Luce met with President Kennedy, who was, at the time, pursuing an ambitious agenda domestically and overseas. She worried about his thinly spread priorities. A great man, she advised him, is one sentence. President Lincoln's sentence was obvious: He preserved the union and freed the slaves. So was Franklin D. Roosevelt's: He lifted us out of a great depression and helped us win a world war. What, Luce challenged the young, impatient president, what do be his sentence?

What a powerful question--not just for great presidents, but for normal folks, too. What will our legacy be? How will our one sentence change history? As you prepare for another year (probably as tough and trying as last year), remember what Clare Booth Luce asked of a president: What's your sentence?

Please pray for Haiti. If that is all you can do, it's the most you can do!

wonderfully made in san jose...

2010-01-19T00:04:00.000-08:00

It still boggles my mind when people ask me questions about--well--me. I'm neurotic and boring and still believe Kid-n-Play is an acceptable dance form in public.

But I've established a relationship with the girls from Wonderfully Made and I'm speaking at their annual conference, so when they asked if I'd do an interview, I openly accepted. If you're in the San Jose area and would like to attend the conference on April 18th, visit the WM website for more information! Those girls are awesome.

Thanks for reading!

We love your blog! What's your favorite thing about blogging?

Well, I’ll be honest and say my favorite things are receiving comments from readers. I know it’s shameless to say, but I’m just keepin’ it real :)  The only thing I could relate it to is yelling into a canyon and not hearing an echo. Sometimes the echo (even it doesn’t agree with me) is still good to hear ;)

Where do you get ideas for blog posts and where do you usually write them?

Life. I know, I know, it sounds cheesy, but I’m being honest. I’m a firm believer in a God who speaks supernaturally sometimes, but speaks subtly to us everyday. If we lean in, we can hear Him whisper to us. So whether I'm in my pajamas or blogging from Starbucks, I know He's speaking.

Tell us about your ministry.

I’m bi-vocational because I believe in the words and actions of Paul. At times churches blessed him and at other times he had to ability to preach the gospel for free. I’m totally stoked to work for an amazing church which believes in what I do and supports my ministry.

In The Name Of Love is a ministry to spread the love, grace, and truth of the gospel. I speak on theological, pragmatic, societal or emotional issues to anyone who will listen :) My heart most definitely is for Generation Y! This next wave of Christian leaders will control the ebb and flow of the Church. It’s important to teach solid biblical principles.

We can’t help but notice your fabulous style! What’s your shopping philosophy- any tips you want to share?

To read the full interview, click here.

serving size...

2010-01-18T10:00:00.001-08:00

Sometimes I feel like I have to call the FDA and complain about serving sizes. I mean, who really sits down and measures out one tablespoon of hummus before they open the bag of pita chips? Who pours 1/4 cup of cereal for breakfast? Who rations out half of a can of soup? I wish I was excited about filling my palm of food and walking away feeling full. By alas, I'm not that girl.

I have a funny feeling, we don't have that same feeling when it comes to our time spent in prayer, time spent advising a friend, or time spent in daily devotion. We are completely content with the serving size. You know, the daily reading as we rush in the morning, the bible study we listen to on the way to work, the quick prayer before your lunch. But are serving sizes enough to fill our hearts, minds, and souls for the nourishment we need for the day?

I'm going to break all diet rules and jump off the weight-wagon when it comes to spiritual matters. Stop being content with serving sizes. Gorge, pig-out, stuff your heart with the goodness of God. Taste and see that God is good (Psalm 34:8). Then and only then will we be content and full of His love, hope, and joy.

What have you eaten today? Has it been enough to sustain you through the day? Remember, when it comes to spiritual matters, don't be a vegetarian! (See: Hebrews 5:14)

Remember to pray for Haiti. If it's the least we can do, it's the most we can do.

friday Video Post: compassion...

2010-01-15T11:00:00.000-08:00

Things you can do:

1. Pray.

2. Contact your local church to partner in any way.

3. Financially contribute to Compassion International as they are onsite assisting with relief.

Love out loud,

Comments closed

real me campaign...

2010-01-14T07:27:00.001-08:00

The real me.

The real me laughs loud, hugs hard, loves deep.

The real me is without makeup, without care, without consequence.

The real me is frightened and fearful and functioning under unwarranted grace.

The real me is simply complicated.

The real me appears in control, but knows chaos rules.

The real me strives for perfection, but fails believing the delusion.

The real me teaches about a faithful God, but wavers in faith of His promises.

The real me needs a friend, a savior, a redeemer.

The real me is broken and perferated and ugly and empty.

The real me desires to be accepted in spite of failures, known in spite of fear, loved in spite of me.

The real me believes there is a real you. I've spoken about keepin' it real many times before on the blog, but Mike Foster and the crew at People of the Second Chance have started the #RealMe campaign for Twitter and facebook sites. And it's rad. The challenge is to change all glamor shots and replace them with the real us. No pretenses, no photoshop, no StarShots. The real you. Go check out their site. It's rad.

So, the question remains: who is the real you?

100 word wedneday: be a realist...

2010-01-13T09:00:00.000-08:00

The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. 1 Timothy 1:15

Paul was a student of his heart. He paid attention to the desires and impulses that churned within. I don't think it's a stretch to say that he knew he was capable--given the right circumstances--of the worst of sins and vilest of motives.

Paul was a realist. He wanted to see God and himself truly. No hiding behind a facade of pleasantness or religiosity for him. When we take a look within, let's be realistic. What's lurking in the crevices of our shady heart? Be a realist.

twins...

2010-01-12T07:00:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to lie. I feel his pain. Being the second-born twin ain't easy. It's an unstated competition every. single. day. Jacob and Esau wrestled in the womb and warred before entering earth. Jas and I wrestled on living room floors, in academic settings, and on athletic fields. It comes with the territory of being a twin. But through the years we've been partners in crime, change agents for good, and hustlers of the gospel of Jesus Christ. She does it with a camera. I do it with my voice.

Several references in Genesis describe the different giftings Jacob and Esau possessed. One worked in the field. The other worked domestically. One worked closer to their father. One worked closer to their mother. One was hairy and smelled funny. One was smooth-skinned and smelled like Tide and hints of Downey. The dichotomy between them could've made a dynamic combination of biblical proportions. Instead the journey included pain, death, bitterness, and a limp.

Though not everyone is a twin, I'm sure we all struggled with a competitive spirit or jealousy or flat-out Hater Syndrome. (Don't lie, you know it's true.) Sometimes we're put in situations which cause us to focus on what we are NOT rather than what we ARE. I work in a faith-based sector, I'm close to my mom, and I'm not hairy like Jasmine.* If I focus on what God has called me to do, I don't have time to look at what I'm not good at or what I don't have. It's just that simple.

God puts people into our lives for specific purposes. Think of that one person who you're at odds with... now focus on how different you are... now try to imagine partnering with them on something, anything. How can you come together and be change agents for good?

The cool thing about Jacob and Esau is we know how the story ends. Yes, there is restitution, but it came at a cost. If both brothers were to partner in God's individual blessings, imagine what the biblical annals might have looked like! Instead of waring with our brothers and sisters in Christ, how can we partner with them? Here's a tip: start with looking at your faults before analyzing others. Thought? Comments? Stones to throw?

*I can only say this because she is on another continent at the moment and can't kick my butt. Yes, she still kicks my butt. But she's my bestest friend and I love with more than bootcamp workouts, Mama's arroz con gandules, and reading in bed.

be someone...

2010-01-11T08:53:00.000-08:00

It was her eyes. Beautiful, brown, tired eyes. She greeted everyone who walked through the door, but few noticed her and less acknowledged her welcome into the hotel dining room.

I wondered how they would’ve treated her if she was their mother, aunt, or sister. But she was a practical adornment. An ornate key hook, an antique table, a face to clean tables when visitors complete a meal.

She scrurried from table to table to pickup dishes, wipe down tables, and put out clean settings. As she drew near to my table, she asked me if she could remove my plate. I tried making a joke about the mess I’d made. It was funny. But my humor was lost in translation; a courtesy laugh, tilted head, and slow nod proved it.

I asked her name. I asked where she was from. I invited her to be more than a key hook, coffee table or brown face. It was then I saw something in her eyes. Her beautiful, brown, tired eyes. At the table she spoke to me and her eyes danced with excitement as she told me where she was from in her native language. She smiled as she spoke about far away places I could see in her eyes. Her beautiful, brown, tired eyes.

Luz Maria and I had a moment in the dining area. She wasn’t a table server or door attendee. She was human. She was a mother, aunt, and sister. She recalled a funny story and lost me before the punch line because she was speaking too fast. I laughed a courtesy laugh, tilted my head, and nodded. Some things might be lost in translation, but loving like Christ is a language everyone speaks.

As we arose from the table, I remembered a quote from a book I read. Jesus’ method doesn’t require doing something, but being someone. Now I want to live it out.

Friday Video Post: yoga and meditation...

2010-01-08T06:48:00.000-08:00

Downward facing dog, inhale, she gently instructed in the most beautiful voice ever heard. Cobra, exhale, she sung as her body moved as if in water. The entire class moved in syncopation as if on her synchronized swimming team. If Barry White and Sade had a love-child, this is what she would sound like.

I, on the other hand, moved with the fluidity of a Pre-Andalusian beast and grunted like one too. It was like Mr. Snuffalupogus from Sesame Street trying to stretch to calming, instrumental music. Not cute. But I endured the class for four weeks as instructed by my chiropractor because of a running accident. My back was so tweaked, I couldn't sit down for more than an hour let alone exercise.

But towards the end of class, the singing Indian siren would encourage the class to meditate and "center" our bodies and minds on positive thoughts. Immediately I knew this was going down some New Age path of enlightenment, so I simply closed my eyes and began to pray. Meditate? Um, okay, I'll meditate on the blessings bestowed to be God. For that, my dear Indian sister, is a positive, centering thought to which I can meditate upon (Psalm 1:2).

Is Yoga Bad? from Bianca Juarez on Vimeo.

Are there dangers in yoga and deep trances encouraged by some classes? Yes. Is there the potential to become mastered or confused by these practices? Yes. Are there alternatives to yoga? I'm glad you asked! Check out this article about Laurette Willis and her introduction to New Age philosophies and yoga. She also speaks about the danger of yoga and the ideologies behind it.

the list...

2010-01-07T14:43:00.000-08:00

I don't do resolutions. It's just too much pressure and one more thing to add to my to-do list. Today, however, I was reading my daily devotions and I came across Genesis 18:14 and I realized, nothing is too hard for my God. I immediately grabbed my journal and wrote down my goals for 2010. Why? Because nothing is too hard for my Lord.

I'll revisist this list in December and my hope is to scratch a line through each of these goals. If we can be people who commit everyday to change the world, we'll leave the world a better place one day at a time.

The List:

1. Create world peace and end hunger.

*Or at least try to.

2. Be healthy, happy, and content with my weight.

*No more binges, wacky diets, four-hour workouts, or genetically modified foods.

3. Read two books a month.

*One book to strengthen my character, one book for mind-rotting entertainment.

4. Find an agent who believes in me.

*God bless you, Chad Cannon!

5. Create and produce curriculum for the summer series that's fantastically amazing and spiritually inspiring.

*Or even a small fraction of that :)

6. Be financially wise and frugal.

*In being financially wise, I'd like to sponsor a child in a third world country and help domestically by investing in a non-Christian family near me.

7. Be emotionally stable.

*I'm a dramatic ledge-walker. This is not cool.

8. Love out loud.

*Even people who don't wear deodorant or drive too slow on the freeway.

9. Live out loud.

*People should be able to see my faith and my Maker through my life... even when I don't use words.

10. Build a community of people who want to change the world one day at a time.

*Yes, this includes you.

Comments enabled

i'm sorry...

2010-01-06T10:05:00.001-08:00

Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and He will lift you up. James 4:10

I looked at him directly in the face and said, I'm sorry. But it was one of those, Oh, ya know, like maybe perhaps kindasorta I was a wee bit in the wrong. He looked at me with his deep blue eyes and tilted his head down in a You-don't-really-mean-that sort of way. He saw right through me. Helen Keller could've seen me?! It was that insincere.

Through patience, kindness, and love, I was able to express my mind, yet realize I was totally, completely, unabashedly wrong. By the end of the conversation I knew the importance of a sincere apology and felt like a schmuck for faking the funk from the beginning. I was fooling no one. Not even myself.

On the long drive home I began to think about the power of apology and the heavy weight it removes from relationships. If a sincere apology fixes so much*, why is it so difficult to do? It's quite simple. P-R-I-D-E.

Maybe all you good people in the blogosphere don't wrestle with this, but I hate being wrong. Like loathe it. But I'm in good company. Oh yes, Eve, Moses, Paul, Miriam and Bianca have eaten of the delicious fruit of deceitfulness of self and have paid the price. Broken relationships, angry fights, loss of friends or family simply because pride thwarted a healing apology.

Whether it's apologizing to the Creator of the world or the one you created, humble yourself for the sake of God. He will lift you up (Luke 14:11, 18:14, 1 Peter 5:6).

*I love research and I found a GREAT article in Psychology Today about the healing benefits of apologies. If you need to receive or give an apology, you should check it out :) You're welcome!

je ne parle pas francais...

2010-01-05T06:58:00.000-08:00

Freshman and sophomore year of high school Mrs. Shaggetz would cup my face in her hands and squeeze my cheeks to help me say, Je m'appelle Bianca. Je sui de California. Two years of French 1 and 2 and all I earned was a few phrases to help me find the restroom and how to perfectly say Je ne parle pas Francais. [Which, by the way, the good ol' I-don't-speak-French works well too.]

While staring at my lotion bottle the other morning, I remembered another lesson from Mrs. Shaggetz's French 2 class. In Latin based languages (Italian, Romanian, Spanish, French, et al), the noun comes before any other information. Basically, you know entirely from the beginning what the subject is about.

Example:

Mineral Body Lotion

Lait Mineral pour le Corps (lotion mineral for the body)

I laughed to myself because wouldn't it be great if God spoke a sentence to determine my life in French? You know, like He would tell me from the beginning why I was suppose to do something, who it was to be done for, and how it would be accomplished.

Example:

Opportunity amazing serve God's people. Provide everything I will. Trust me you must.

But noooooo, God speaks to me in English and the only thing He's told me is, You must trust me. Trust. Yes, that ambiguously faith-ridden word. Trust for a control freak is like a profane word. But Solomon clearly spoke to Dana* and to me in plain English when he wrote Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Though it may sound trite, simple, and boring, it's 100% true. Something happened yesterday which is case-in-point of God's blessings for following Him. I'll post about it at a later time, but after reading Ali share her story in the comments section yesterday, I thought it would be good to hear how God's blessed you for walking in His ways and acknowledging Him. This is your chalkboard. Write away!

*Dana posted her favorite verse in this post and I was blessed by it's simplicity.

clothes crisis, covenants, and comforters...

2010-01-04T05:43:00.000-08:00

After a loud yell of frustration, my sister walked into my room and saw the mountain of clothes, shoes, and books which accumulated in my tirade. Her eyebrow raised, needing explanation as to why it looked like Hurricane Katrina had blown through my room. Look, I'm stressed out, okay? I'm late, I have a very important meeting this afternoon and I have nothing to wear. Nothing! To! Wear! It's a major Clothes Crisis!

She knows my antics and without saying a word, she pulled a teal cardigan from my clothes, grabbed a thin belt to wrap around my waist, changed my jewelry and with that I was ready for work. It was like Bippity Boppity Boo! [Minus the fairy godmother.]

Because I'm an emotional basket-case when I'm stressed, I gave her a hug and let out a squeal. She was not empathetic to my "Clothes Crisis" so she simply tapped my back as I squeezed her and told me I was late for work. Wait, I said. I have to make my bed! Dumbfounded and frustrated, she asked why I was making my bed rather than fighting traffic. Oh that's simple, Alex. A clean, well-made bed is my comfort. When everything is life, work, or my room is a mess, I always have my bed to look to as peace and solidarity. It's my symbol. I looked for the brass band to enter my room as I sang a Cabaret life lesson to my sister. She picked up her coffee and left the room mumbling words under her breath.

But I'm not the only one who needs reminders of peace. In Genesis 9 God reiterated the word covenant seven times in nine scriptures. The biblical word covenant means promise from God. God told Noah he would remember His covenant symbol (a rainbow) was a reminder to all living creatures on earth (9:17). Till this day, I remember God's promise to humanity when I see a rainbow.

When everything in life is chaotic, ugly, depressing, and messy, what do you hold on to? What are your reminders? If we don't have reference points (promises and covenants), we can get lost in the mess and forget the promises God has given us. Hold on to what the psalmist says, The promises of the Lord are pure, like silver refined in a furnace and purified seven times... God's way is perfect! The promise of the Lord has proved to be true. (Psalm 12:6; 18:30)

100 word wednesday: we matter...

2009-12-30T07:24:00.000-08:00

We all know the feeling of walking into a room filled with people, yet feel overwhelmed with loneliness. During the holidays these situations are magnified. Isolated car rides, solo shopping excursions, or simply having no where to go for the holidays, thoughts of worthlessness and loneliness creep into the crevices of the mind and have the potential to overwhelm.

But we haven’t been the only ones who have felt this. Oh no, Gen X'ers! These feelings have permeated every culture, race, and generation. To temper and balance the inadequacies, listen to what the psalmist said:

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them they would outnumber the grains of the sand. When I awake, I am still with you (Psalm 139:17-18).

Despite our stations in life, we have a purpose to fulfill, we are not forgotten, and God cares because we matter.

year verse(s)...

2009-12-29T08:24:00.000-08:00

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever--do not abandon the works of your hands. Psalm 138:8

In a conversation with Matt the other day, he asked what my verse for the year was. Uh, what do you mean? Like, out of the 31,103 verses in the bible, I’m suppose to predetermine a scripture to fit my particular theological bent for blahblahblahblahblahblaaaaah. I should have been slapped. Right there. In that moment. The question was simply, what verse do you want to adopt into your year? That’s it. No theological twisting or contortion. Just one verse.

But I’m simply complicated and I make nothing easy. Like nothing. Matt showed me some scriptures he’d written down in his journal the last couple weeks of reading and I, well, wanted some too. Not because I’m uber spiritual, but because I’m competitive and I want a life verse too!

While scouring the scriptures for a totally amazing, fantastically stupendous, earth shattttttering scripture [insert booming voice here], I was gently coddled during my devotions when I came across Psalm 138:8 again. I blogged about it before but this time it was with greater significance. Though this is not my verse for the year, it was a reminder of yesteryear when the Lord used a gentle word to encourage me in a time of forgotteness.

I spoke to Matt today and was very proud to announce that I have my verses. Yes, as plural. Why have one verse when you can have FIVE, I shrieked with excitement. He simply rolled his eyes and said I was complicated.

If you have a verse you’re holding onto or a promise for 2010, would you share it? I would love instead of resolutions, we create revolutions in our heart, mind, and soul. If you share yours, I’ll share mine :)

incouraging miracles...

2009-12-27T02:00:00.000-08:00

As the Christmas trees are taken down and the decorations are put away, I hope Christmas has brought together family, friends, and amazing food. The new year is rapidly approaching and in thinking about what's looming on the horizon, I wanted to seize the opportunity given to me by incourage to talk about miracles. Incourage is a site dedicated to, er, um--well, encourage those who stop by!

I was honored to be asked to write for them again and was allowed to speak about the miraculous. To read the whole piece, you can click here or on the icon below. The comments have been turned off so you can join the conversation there! Thanks for the constant love and support.

I believe in miracles. I know, I know, miracles are a touchy subject for 21^st century intellectuals. But I do.

When we read about God parting the seas, providing food in arid places, and liberties to captives, and we walk out of church roused by history, but unconvinced that the God of yesterday is the God of today.

To read more, click the button:

happy birthday jesus...

2009-12-24T07:26:00.000-08:00

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want, cry if I want to. You would cry too if it happened to you. --Leslie Gore, 1966

I'm staring at the plastic Santa, inflatable Snoopy house, and mechanical deers on my neighbors lawn wondering how Baby Jesus didn't get invited to the lawn party. I don't get it. It's Jesus' birthday party and he doesn't even get an invite?!

Please invite Jesus to your lawn parties, family parties, Christmas parties, but more importantly, invite him into your life. Allow him to permeate your life every day, every way. It is then and only then your Christmas will be merry, your holidays happy, and your life purposeful.

Isaiah 9:6, For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

weaving benevolence...

2009-12-23T09:11:00.000-08:00

Acts 11:29 The disciples, each according to his ability, decided to provide help for the brothers living in Judea.

She sat at the loom and methodically laced beautiful strands of string. Each strand was a different color, yet when sewn together, a beautiful piece of art was composed. The Persian woman with weathered hands used what was in front of her to create beauty.

Each person who emailed me was different. A doctor, a photographer, a homemaker, a dreamer, a student, a mother, an artist. Each person was like a beautiful strand waiting to be knit together, waiting to be used to create a masterpiece of benevolence.

I sat at my computer with weathered hands and aspired to create beauty, not knowing what would come of these ambitions.

Today the masterpiece is complete and thanks to many of you, two beautiful families living under one roof will have a Christmas to remember. Because of your support and prayers, we've raised roughly $1,600 in two days. Each teen will receive a gift card to purchase anything they want, two boys will receive toys, trains, and trucks, AP will receive a $500 gift card and a turkey to a local grocery store, and the rest will be given to the family in need to help them find a place to rent.

In economic times like these, it is truly more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35). Whether you gave three dollars or four hundred dollars (or if you donated the turkey), you gave what you were able to give. Merry Christmas, y'all! I love you.

critics and quotes...

2009-12-22T09:19:00.000-08:00

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. --President Theodore Roosevelt

Peter heard the cock crow. Moses struck the rock. Jonah jumped ship. Eve bit the fruit and Adam followed. None of those pillars of biblical narrative would ever claim to be perfect. And neither do I. I have faltered, and sadly, I will falter again. Paul encourages and reminds the Romans that there is not one person who is righteous; everyone has failed and fallen (3:10, 23). But as believers in Christ, we stand before critics as broken vessels yet claim, through His stripes we are healed (Isaiah 53:5); as piles of ash waiting metaphoric beauty, we claim He uses the base to confound the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27).

Dale Carnegie said, Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. Only listen to a critic if they can be forgiving. If not, be unthwarted by their comments. Like my father always told me, to escape criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

trails and life...

2009-12-21T10:57:00.000-08:00

The sweat. The fall. The doubt. The belief. The sunrise. The trail. The pain. The end.

The sun was calling over the mountains like a siren to sailor's death. The mountain called. I responded. Step by step, minute by minute, mile by mile, I endured the hill. Half way up the trail, I lost my footing and slipped down onto jagged rocks, cutting my hand and shin. I debated quitting. I mean, I had already completed a good amount of trail. What would it matter if I continued? Who would know? Who would care?

But I couldn't quit.

I was surrounded by trees; their limbs were like semaphores swaying encouragement. I had to get to the top. I limped my way to the crest of the peak and my breath was taken away. I saw the entire trail, the sunrise, the doubtful cliffs, the believing trees, and I rested in the beauty.

I had a moment with the Creator and saw Life. Sometimes I've asked myself, What would it matter if I continued my walk of faith in a Divine Creator? Would would know if I quit? Who would care? But as I stood at the peak of the hill I endured and saw the difficult path I emerged from, I realized the end is worth the fall, the doubt, the pain. Press on, fight the good fight of faith (1 Timothy 6:12), for He shows loving kindness to those who walk before Him with all their heart (2 Chronicles 6:14).

Have you asked if it would matter if you quit? It does. Don't give up. The view is beautiful from the top.

pine tree air fresheners on my mind...

2009-12-18T09:39:00.000-08:00

There is nothing more vulnerable than being a female and taking your car into the mechanics. But alas, I'm here because my car is making a grinding/wheezing/ching-ching sound and with every minute that passes I'm seeing more and more dollars drain from my savings account as I insist I really don't need a pine tree air freshener.

I'm no mechanic, but does my car really need a new air filter, tire rotation, oil change, air conditioner fluid, and pine tree air freshener to dangle from my mirror? I didn't think so either.

I totally was ready to discuss the death penalty and the moral implications of death since it's Friday and I post vlogs and all, but the only thing I can talk about is the death of my car... and reasons why I don't need a pine tree air freshener to dangle from my rear view mirror.

I'll record the vlog later today. Sorry--I'm a horrible blogger!

why i'm a horrible facebooker...

2009-12-17T09:04:00.000-08:00

The email indicated we had to meet. There were serious issues which needed to be clarified. I set up a meeting and the 40ish father of one of the teens I mentor arrived promptly to discuss the serious issues. Privy to information about the current status of the family, I assumed it was to discuss matter of dire importance. I was SO wrong!

Him: Thank you for your time. I'll make this brief and to the point. Are we ok? Do you not like me or have I done something to offend you?

Me: [blink] Well, um, er [blink, blink, blinkblinkblink], I'm not too sure I know what this is in reference to.

Him: Well, it's just that I friend requested you on facebook over two weeks ago and you haven't accepted my friend request.

Me: [blink... blink]

I was dumbfounded. He could not possibly be serious. Oh, but he was! So serious I thought he was going to rain down fire. I explained to him that facebook was a way for me to connect with friends from high school and college and I don't accept friend requests from parents of my teens since the parents will use it as a way to spy on their children (which I knew he would do). He then proceeded to list the names of other parents who I had accepted friend requests. [blink]

Since then there have been other dramatic facebook situations which frighten me from visiting facebook (accidentally marking the 'married' and 'it's complicated' boxes; spammed with porn to my inbox; long emails from people who don't like me; being a silent voyeur of other people's lives [don't lie, you do it], etc.).

Usher had his confessions and now it's my turn. I'm sorry if I haven't responded to your facebook email, lagged in accepting a friend request, or haven't replied to a question. I have a job which I love and would like to keep so spending hours playing Farmville or snooping through photo galleries isn't my thing. I know I'm not the only one with stories from facebook, so spill it! What are some funny/dramatic/horror stories you've encountered?

Here's a video I saw on Michael Hyatt's blog. I love it!

people...

2009-12-16T09:34:00.000-08:00

A flux of emails reminded me why I do what I do.

People.

For people, by people, because of people.

There is a woman with a hardly laugh, big hugs, and tender heart. She's been a loyal reader since the inception of this blog but recently made her presence known by leaving comments. I know her story. I know her family. I know her heart.

Perhaps it's the beauty of anonymity, but in an emotional state she confessed her own struggle while reading yesterday's post about the working poor. I felt the black letter words radiate through the computer screen. I know what fear of the unknown feels like. Cavernous. Hollow. Desperate.

The phone latched onto the receiver and for a moment, I felt like the physical voice of God. Last night I received several emails from people who want to help buy food, presents, or donate money to as she houses ten people in a two-bedroom apartment. If I could have recorded her cry of sovereign providence, any skeptic would be wooed by her belief in the God who provides more than we could think or imagine (Eph. 3:20). Through her sobs she replied, I knew God would provide. I didn't know how, but I knew God would provide.

If you would like to join those who have offered to help, whether it's a $5 gift card or 5 million dollar check, please email me at bianca@inthenameoflove.org for more information. I'm BLOWN away by the readers of this blog and I love you more today than I did yesterday!*

*I know I over-use exclamation marks, but I'm really excited! So here are some more exclamation points just to annoy you!!!!!!!!! Merry Christmas!!!!

Edit to post: If you would like to use PayPal, please click here

working poor...

2009-12-15T06:54:00.000-08:00

If you give the the poor, your needs will be supplied! But a curse upon those who close their eyes to poverty--Proverbs 28:27

In our society homelessness is widely spoken about. On a global level, we are moved by gut-wrenching faces of emaciated children from third world countries. We stare surreptitiously from our car window at a bushy-faced man holding a sign willing to work for food.

What we may not see or be aware of are those Americans who try with all their might to make ends meet, yet come up short every month. The socio-economic label is working poor and they comprise 28 percent of American families. According to data collected by the US Bureau of Labor statistics 21 million children live in low-income working families who parents are categorized as making 200% of the national poverty level.

The report notes that working poor families "lack the earning necessary to meet their basic needs--a struggle exacerbated by soaring prices for food, gas, health, and education. About 60 percent of working families are forced to spend more than one-third of their income on housing, and nearly 40 percent lack health insurance for one or both parents.

The question remains, what are YOU doing about this? I'm not too sure it's the governments responsibility to feed my neighbor, but I am totally sure as a lover of Jesus Christ and a copy-cat of his ways, I am called to do so. While President Barak, bureaucrats, and bankers worry about tomorrow, I will help those in need today. Who do YOU know is in need? Who can YOU help? Will YOU help change the world one person at a time?

*Edit to post: If you would like to help blog commenter "ap" buy purchasing Christmas gifts, please email me at bianca@inthenameoflove.org. This may be your opportunity to help those in need!

christmas eCard...

2009-12-14T08:26:00.000-08:00

Dear Internet Friends:

Thank you for being part of my life the past couple months. As we approach Christmas, I wanted to send you my annual family Christmas card. This year has been a wild ride, but I'm grateful you've joined along!

Ho, ho, ho,

Friday Video Post: cosmetics, christians, and the church

2009-12-11T10:34:00.000-08:00

She came up to me with her hair in a slick bun, long skirt, and nothing more than a band of gold on her ring finger. After quick pleasantries, she began to question my worldly clothing and use of makeup while referencing 1 Peter 3:3-4. I was taken back and immediately felt like I looked like RuPaul on a Friday night! Out of embarrassment I simply apologized, thanked her for attending the lecture, and began wiping blush from my cheeks.

I was mortified. But I began to research the texts she quoted and found an amazingly sound biblical explanation and reason for Peter to write what he did. Apologetics Press wrote a great article and after reading it, I felt like I should slap on some mascara and douse my lips with gloss! Bring it on.

I'd love for you to weigh in on the issue of cosmetics, Christians, and the church. What are your thoughts about bridging Old Testament references and New Testament scriptures?

Christians and Cosmetics from Bianca Juarez on Vimeo.

100 word wednesday: directions in life...

2009-12-09T09:22:00.000-08:00

My ever-fabulous sister reminded me of a Sesame Street sketch we would watch as kids. We would laugh until our bellies ached because of a hilarious elephant who uncannily resembled me! No, not because I weighed 172 pounds as an 11 year-old, but because I was never patient enough to listen.

Fifteen years later, Jasmine reminded me of my elephantal resemblance. I don't take the time to listen. I'm impatiently pushing and striving and aiming to get to the next place quicker, faster, and smarter. B, you just need to stop. You want to run, but you need to listen to the directions, she gently said. God will show you where you need to be, but until He does, just wait and listen.

Um, when did SHE become the holy one? That was always MY role in our relationship (I'm kidding, Jas... well, half kidding). When I hung up the phone, I immediately thought of my self-imposed mantra stolen from Psalm 46:10, Be still and know that I am God. I'm asking for directions, but I'm not taking the time to listen.

Am I the only one? What are the things you're asking for, yet not listening for answers? We all have them... don't make me feel like the elephant in the room!

be a star...

2009-12-08T06:27:00.000-08:00

Our society is inundated with a fascination with stars. From movie stars, to music stars, to television stars, to now even reality television stars. With the invention of reality TV, talentless people can become wildly popular.* But the attraction to stars from a biblical perspective can shed light on how we are to interact with friends, family, and frienemies this holiday season.

Matthew 2:1-2, 9-11. A simple light hanging against a bruised colored sky led wise men to the truth. From this passage we learn these learned men were from the east, educated and wise, had political clout, knowledgeable in prophesy, indifferent to status (yet were of great wealth), and divinely in tune to spiritual matters.

Compare the wise men to the shepherds in Luke 2:8-12. Shepherds were lowly, base men who were looked down upon in society. They slept for several nights on end with sheep and probably smelled like sheep. Yet as non-entities in society they were endowed the privilege of worshiping the son of the Living God. Against the darkness of the night, both groups witnessed luminous, bright testaments to the coming birth of our Lord.

Society is telling us to be a star, act like a star, dress like a star. I would like to modify this thought. Be the star that leads wise men and simple men to the cross. Be the star that has answers and gives hope to those who are searching. Be the luminous voice from heaven that encourages even the lowly that are blessed and the Christ child has come for them.

Be a star! You never know--someone might ask you for your autograph ;)

*See William Hung and every show on E! entertainment channel.

if i perish, i perish...

2009-12-07T06:58:00.000-08:00

Queen Esther had a choice to make. The annihilation of her people hung in the balance in which she could tip. Esther was full of excuses as to why she couldn't do what was being asked of her. Truth be known, they were pretty good excuses (you know, like not being put to death and other minor details). In verse 11 of chapter 4, Esther sandwiches her excuses neatly in between a slight possible hope, but sends it off as reasons why she is not the girl for the job.

But something happened. Something changed. Someone simply asked if perhaps she was brought to this position for a intended purpose.

Like Esther, I have a choice to make. I don't have a wise uncle by the name of Mordecai, but I have a wonderful mentor who I bug all the time. She questioned my faith in a recent email and I've been reading her email over and over everyday:

Esther went from being full of excuses to full of faith. Not full of wisdom or full of confidence, but full of faith. In one question asked of her by a dear mentor and friend, she acted valiantly. The question was simply, What if you come to this position for this exact purpose?

Excuses exists because they are legitimate reasons for not doing something. But does that mean we can't do it? Or does it mean we don't think we can? My mentor asked me why I was so fearful of making a certain decision. Oh Blog Friends, I listed a host of reasons really good reasons and excuses! She didn't combat me or convince me, but reminded me about faith in a Living God.

Are you struggling to make a decision? Have you made a decision you're proud of? In a myriad of choices, how do we choose? Esther made a decision with such brazen courage--let's do the same.

Friday Video Post: convince me to have a child...

2009-12-04T09:45:00.000-08:00

Instead of moderating the discussion or answering questions, I'm asking a question.

Share stories, provide insight, break down some theology--I'm asking with all sincerity.

Convince Me to Bear Children from Bianca Juarez on Vimeo.

If Paul is right, please convince me to find salvation ;)

disney, dating, dreams, and dark romance...

2009-12-03T08:58:00.000-08:00

Kisses to break sleeping spells, glass slippers and fairy godmothers, cursed apples and magic spells conjure up sweet Disney tales. If we're honest with ourselves, Walt's appropriation of fairy tales have formed Generation X's ideal romance. White horses, princes with kingdoms, harmless [yet difficult] obstacles to overcome are part and parcel of most young women's fantasy with love.* There's nothing intrinsically wrong with loving love, but it's very important to recognize the commodification of fairy tales and mass marketed romance that has pandered to young girls for the last thirty years.

But Generation Y is tired of Prince Charming and his polished savoir faire. There's a new hunk in dreams and he doesn't need pixie dust to sparkle. Edward Cullen is taking over dreams... yes, even mine.**

Disconcerting as it may be to some, Twilight and the umpteen books in the series are forming a new wave of fairy tale dreamers. Except, I have some qualms and issues needing to be addressed in regards to dating and romance via the philosophy of Stephanie Meyer. And yes, I'm the perfect person to address dating! Okay, okay, maybe the single girl in the last stages of her 20s isn't an expert on dating, but I'm an expert in identifying social trends and philosophical influence of mass media. So--cut me some slack!

I'm not bashing the series. Nor the movie. Nor Kristin Stewart and her very odd, singular Bella expression of I'm-confused-yet-sexy-and-breathy which bugs me to no end. All I'm saying is beware of the poison in the apple--it may look shiny and tasty, but when eaten, there is danger deep within.

Few cautions to pass along to young/dumb/innocent readers:

Tell young girls it's not cool to stay with someone after they've abandoned you in a cold forest and told you they don't love you nor want to be with you. [What Bella really needed was a friend to tell her, He's just not into you.]
Tell young girls it's not cool to flirt with a friend who likes you just because he can help you with things like building a motorcycle. [Which, by the way, what 15 year-old can build a motorcycle?! Come on, Stephanie!]
Tell young girls it's not cool to put yourself life-threatening situation even if visions of the pale man who dumped you in a forest occur. [Duh! He dumped you. He's just not that into you.]
Tell young girls it's not cool when your life is threatened or in danger in the presence of a man who can throw you across a room. [Yes, even if he says he's sorry and will never do it again.]
Tell young girls it's not cool to steal a sports car in a foreign country and drive recklessly in attempts to save a man who said he didn't love you from committing suicide.

Have I read Twilight? Yes. Have I watched the movies? Yes. Did I enjoy them? Yes. All I'm asking is for people to recognize the underlying messages and sudden philosophical, ethical, and metaphysical subtleties in popular media.

If Hosea's warning is true, then consider me your romantic life-line.

*I have friends who to this day dream of getting married in Snow White's castle in front of Fantasy Land. One girl I knew rented Cinderella's stagecoach and eight white horses to pull her up to her ceremony. [Note: It cost $6,000 for her 3-minute entrance.]

** I read Twilight in one day. Er, more like 9.73 hours. And yes, I dreamed I kissed Edward Cullen in Forks. I'm serious. Like, dead serious.

100 word wednesday: laws of the land...

2009-12-02T07:00:00.000-08:00

Be a good citizen. All governments are under God. Insofar as there is peace and order, it's God's order. So live responsibly as a citizen. If you're irresponsible to the state, then you're irresponsible with God, and God will hold you responsible. (Romans 13:1-2, Message)

Six months have elapsed since the genesis of this blog and I’ve been pulled over four times by the California Highway Patrol. Allegedly I can’t stay below the speed limit. I’m trying to really follow street laws now. To the letter.

On the freeway I’m the only one without a "World's Best Grandma" bumper sticker putt-putting along at fifty-five. I should probably have my hazards on as cars whiz by me. They honk. They swerve. The drivers look at me like I’m the lone Red Sox fan at a Yankees game?!

But I do this for two reasons:

1. I can’t afford to pay more than the price of freedom for my insurance. I just refuse!

2. If I really claim to follow Jesus, then I need to be subject for the Lords’ sake to every human institution (1Peter 2:13-14). Here’s the best part: so do you!

Food for thought,
B

beautiful disaster...

2009-12-01T07:35:00.000-08:00

Third year art students were required to scour the corridors of LACMA and find a piece to discover, unfold, reveal. Fully researched and prepared, a piece had been chosen because of it's beautiful perfection. It was neatly framed and cohesive and palatable to all viewers. It was perfect. But something paused the Hunt for the Perfect Art Piece. Overwhelmingly massive and jetting out from the wall was a large wooden assemblage art piece.

I had studied assemblage and the Dada art movement, but it was disastrous, heinous, and riotous to me. Really? Slapping junk together was hardly creative, let alone beautiful, I said to myself as I flipped through my Gardner's Art Through The Ages textbook. Finding redeeming qualities in chairs, boxes, poles, and crates was difficult--even for an neo-art snob like me.

Standing in front of this piece, however, brought to life the ugly, unsettling, unnerving beauty in the undone. It was a beautiful disaster.

When examining life, sometimes the neatly framed, cohesive, and palatable is over taken by the assemblage of the life's circumstances. Ephesians 2:10 says we are his workmanship. We are his art piece crafted according to his good purpose. When Life looks like a beautiful disaster, God has crafted us in his great beauty for his good works.

What is disastrous in your life? How can you find the beauty in it? Revel in being a beautiful disaster :)

be who you is...

2009-11-30T10:03:00.000-08:00

Recently I've been labeled as being urban or ethnic. Labels may be a simple way to categorize and organize groups, but it also compromises diversity. I find the label comical since I've been out of the 'hood for over fifteen years. Apparently home school, public school, private school, and graduate school can't cover my roots. Maybe Snoop Dogg was right when he said, You can take the boy out the 'hood, but you can't take the 'hood out the homeboy.

While in New Jersey teaching at a women's conference, a very sweet woman came up to me with her eyes bright and hands excited as she communicated with every ounce of her being. I love when you talk your ghetto-talk when you share. It's so fresh and real! I know she meant well and her intentions were flattery, but she solidified deep fears. I was the only woman of color speaking at the conference and I felt different, odd, slightly out of place. It was if I spoke like Rosie Perez or Bon QuiQui and simply needed fake gold hoop earring and bangle bracelets to complete the image.

I called my dad and he siphoned through the jokes. He saw the hurt from 3,000 miles away.

Words dipped with honey soothed my soul as he assured me with the words of Paul--we all belong to something bigger than us. A body is comprised of different parts, even parts darker than others, but all parts are necessary. His accent permeated the sentence, his life has permeated this belief. Be who you is, B. Be who you is.

There's something great about being different, odd, and slightly out of place. Different exposes new possibilities; oddity reveals diversity; slightly out of place expands territory. As members of something larger than us, expose new possibilities, reveal diversity, expand territory. Be who you is.

things that matter...

2009-11-28T08:33:00.000-08:00

“To admit the existence of hunger in America is to confess that we have failed in meeting the most sensitive and painful of human needs. To admit the existence of widespread hunger is to cast doubt on the efficacy of our whole system.” George McGovern, 1975

As millions of Americans sat around their dining room table to celebrate Thanksgiving with mounds of muffins and pounds of potatoes, 35.9 million people struggled to find a meal. Three decades later, McGovern's words prophetically have come to pass as evidence indicates the existing system is failing a vast number of Americans

Yes, poverty is a reality in America. 12.9 million children are either living in homelessness or part of a new social group, working poor. Almost 50% of children living in poverty are African American or Hispanic and many more are undocumented citizens surviving on one meal a day. 3.4 million senior citizens live in poverty and make less than $10,000 a year.

Our lives end the moment we become silent about the things that matter. (Martin Luther)

Poverty isn't a continent away--it's in our backyard. This past Thanksgiving, over 300 volunteers did something which mattered. I'm so proud to have worked with CCM and Mariners church on such a great event. But the journey doesn't end here. You, me, we, us need to do something. Get involved and do something that matters!

And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward. (Matthew 10:42)

100 word wednesday: truth...

2009-11-25T05:59:00.000-08:00

The thing about truth that is most annoying is that it is true, making anything that contradicts it false. Christ is either God incarnate, risen from the dead, or He is not. There is no halfway position here. If he is not, then His teaching hold no more authority than those of Confucius, Tupac, or Oprah. We can take them or leave them.

But if Christ is God, it changes everything—there is nothing more important, more authoritative, or more central to the human race, to the way we live our lives, and to our very understanding of the world. Christ is an all-or-nothing proposition, and one way or another, every one of us has already made a choice about Him. We have either committed our lives to Him whole-heartedly, or we have not.*

Which lends me to ask, if Christ's claims are true, what are you doing about it?

*Thanks to Dr. Suzanne Wyle for forcing her students to think critically in 100 words or less. Represent WC!